[Copypasta] Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell

Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnโ€™t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, โ€œOh, like youโ€™re doing now?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like โ€œSir, you need to pay for those first.โ€ At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually โ€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,โ€ and then turned around and winked at me. I donโ€™t even think thatโ€™s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019

Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta

HOLA๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป all you dirty little TACO๐ŸŒฎSLUTS๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿคฃdo you know what day it is?!๐Ÿค” I smell immigrants๐Ÿ™Ž๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿผ so it must be SINKO DE FUCKING MAYONNAISE๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒฎโค๏ธ๐ŸŒฏ Hide your KIDS๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, hide your BURRITOS๐ŸŒฏ, and get your CUMMIES READY๐Ÿ˜ฉcause DADDY TRUMP๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ชis coming to deport us all๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿพ But DONT FORGET to drink TACOS ๐ŸŒฎ and eat TEQUILA ๐Ÿธbecause the only way for you FILTHY CUMSLUTS to stay in America๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธis to PARTYYY๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฉ So send this to CINCO(5 you dumb bitch) of the SLUTTIEST๐Ÿ˜ jars of MAYO you know and if you DONT โŒget any back you get NO ๐Ÿšซ๐ŸšซCULTURAL CUMMIES ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Kirby with gun

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
October 2018

Attention all Fortnite gamers

twitchquotes: Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

Fortnite

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