Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Surprised face emoji D:
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Same
twitchquotes:
The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: “I’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
Sneaky
League of Legends
My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team
twitchquotes:
Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
Forsen
What makes me a good Demoman? Meet the Demoman
What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
Team Fortress 2
Trolling My Church with Among Us
So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.