[Copypasta] Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell

Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

my face when americans call chips "french fries"

>my face when americans call chips "french fries" >my face when americans call crisps "chips" >my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks" >my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >my face when americans call meat water "gravy" >my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables" >my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger" >my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards" >my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly" >my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift" >my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie" >my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun" >my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb" >my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake" >my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"
April 2021

British People

Endgame spoilers

twitchquotes: I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things. I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanos’ erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldn’t even tell his cock wasn’t real. Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie. Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.
twitch chat
May 2019

Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
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