Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
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Popsicle burglaries
twitchquotes:
Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
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Kripp
Ben Brode and Tyrande
twitchquotes:
Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Tyrande's soft dirty blue hair. "If I do this, will you make Elune great again?" Tyrande asks as she starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Tyrande prepares her Cockbiter Weapon. She nods as Ben Brode takes out his 4 mana 7/7 and slams it into Tyrande's 0/5 tightwell. "BY ELUNE'S GRACE"! Tyrande screams. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Tyrande's face..
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