Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
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Not enough brofisting
twitchquotes:
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
Kripp
This chat is now in CUTE mode
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This chat is now in CUTE mode โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
This chat is now in CUTE mode โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
twitch chat
Weebs
โ ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.
I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
REKT Not REKT
โ Not REKT โ REKT โ REKTangle โ SHREKT โ REKT-it Ralph โ Total REKTall โ The Lord of the REKT โ The Usual SusREKTs โ North by NorthREKT โ REKT to the Future โ Once Upon a Time in the REKT โ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT โ LawREKT of Arabia โ Tyrannosaurus REKT โ eREKTile dysfunction
Classic
Shrek
Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta
HOLA๐๐ป all you dirty little TACO๐ฎSLUTS๐๐คฃdo you know what day it is?!๐ค I smell immigrants๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION๐
๐ผ so it must be SINKO DE FUCKING MAYONNAISE๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ป๐ฎโค๏ธ๐ฏ Hide your KIDS๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ, hide your BURRITOS๐ฏ, and get your CUMMIES READY๐ฉcause DADDY TRUMP๐ง๐ชis coming to deport us all๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐๐พ But DONT FORGET to drink TACOS ๐ฎ and eat TEQUILA ๐ธbecause the only way for you FILTHY CUMSLUTS to stay in America๐บ๐ธis to PARTYYY๐๐๐๐๐ฆ๐ฉ So send this to CINCO(5 you dumb bitch) of the SLUTTIEST๐ jars of MAYO you know and if you DONT โget any back you get NO ๐ซ๐ซCULTURAL CUMMIES ๐ญ๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ