[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Our Salt, who art in hearthstone

twitchquotes: BlessRNG Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. BlessRNG Give us today our daily meme deck. BlessRNG And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. BlessRNG And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen BlessRNG
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp?

twitchquotes: Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp? And I'm referring to when Kripp gets Deathwinged in Arena (topdeck) on a 0-2 run after his Mad Bomber missed lethal against a 1 Health Mage with an empty board, who had just used a Shadow Word: Death discovered by Kabal Courier on his Bog Creeper, but not before the opponent used Flamestrike on his board of buffed Doppelgangsters, and then one more time after he just played Onyxia (who then got Ice Lanced and then Shattered).
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

salty

All is then right with the world

twitchquotes: Maybe his long Journey away from the evil drug that is Hearthstone has brought moral clarity to his life. Kripp rises up and breaks away from the shackles the succubus has locked Kripp in. Papaparrian holds the key and sets Kripp's mind free. He swears to never go back to Greece or play Hearthstone ever again. Kripp moves back in with Papa and finally gets his OJ sponsorship. The beautifully creamy wall is vibrant as Kripp uploads his newest video in the old wonderland. "Hey guys how's it going, Kripparian here." Kripp starts up PoE again in anticipation of the new expansion being released, theory crafting builds. He is happy and filled with life each day of streaming. All is then right with the world.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

This guy's painting is CRAZY

twitchquotes: KappaRoss “This guy's painting is CRAZY!” KappaRoss “My drawing can't win against a painting like that” KappaRoss "He NEEDED precisely those colors to win" KappaRoss “He drew the only scene that could beat me” KappaRoss "He had the perfect brush" KappaRoss
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing