[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Teddy Roosevelt messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, This is Teddy Roosevelt calling! I am concerned that you have formed a monopoly on the hearthstone section of twitch dot telly. You must renounce this darkness immediately or I will SMITE YOU like I did Andre Carnegie and Nelson Rockemsockem. You must give up your monopolistic ways or face the mighty wrath of the White House and the US Judicial system. Much love to Rania and the baby. Regards, yo boi TD
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

VIVA LE MEME

twitchquotes: Clearly one of the largest, most daunting issues we face in modern day society is the threat of losing our rich culture of GLORIOUS MEMES which will be abandoned, lost, fogotten, and misunderstood in the future. We must enjoy the memes while they're still here to be embraced. VIVA LE MEME ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Donate so Kripp doesn't have to sell his kidneys in China

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༽ Please donate so Kripp dont have to go sell his kidneys in china ༼ ºل͟º༽
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, îl hrănești pentru o zi. Om învățat de ouă, îl va hrăni pentru o viață întreagă." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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