[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
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twitchquotes: I Stayed up for months, trying to study the psyche of twitch chat, i reached insanity and couldnt come up with anything, but along the road i stumbled upon a far greater discovery, i found out that indeed, Kripp, IS BabyRage Never Lucky BabyRage
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twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripparian, its Reynad's attourney here, i see you are using my client's new deck, the Millerino Druidino. We will send you the fees for using his new deck idea, please stay in touch with us or we will have to take the needed providences. Have a good climb, no pasterino please. Nice cat u have.
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Dex sits in a huge doghouse

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
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twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Im excited to think of what the next hoodie color will be. This ones been going strong 20 days in a row now. Maybe we'll go back to the blue one or even the other light grey one that was worn for 30+ days. It's like a game now.
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Text-to-Speech Playing