[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp?

twitchquotes: Is there even a vegan saltier than Kripp? And I'm referring to when Kripp gets Deathwinged in Arena (topdeck) on a 0-2 run after his Mad Bomber missed lethal against a 1 Health Mage with an empty board, who had just used a Shadow Word: Death discovered by Kabal Courier on his Bog Creeper, but not before the opponent used Flamestrike on his board of buffed Doppelgangsters, and then one more time after he just played Onyxia (who then got Ice Lanced and then Shattered).
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

salty

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Salty tofu

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito

twitchquotes: Wow Kripparian, you seem salty today! But not as salty as Taco Bell's new Salty Sriracha Quesarito for only $2.99! Packed with tbSpicy and PJSalt its got everything you want in a tbQuesarito !
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing