[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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I hate myself and my life

twitchquotes: I hate myself and my life, but instead of improving either of those things, I'm drinking alone while watching a rich, balding vegan play children's card games for 15 thousand other losers FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Pump the brightness and feel have sex with videos

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ ｂｅｄ ｍｙ ｌａｐｔｏｐ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ＹｏｕＴｕｂｅ． Ｉ ｐｕｍｐ ｔｈｅ ｂｒｉｇｈｔｎｅｓｓ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｖｉｄｅｏ ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Sauté the Pepperoni

twitchquotes: First you boil some pasta, preferably Fagottini ( ͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ ~~~~~Then you sauté the Pepperoni ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━ (o o o)
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Kripp uploads a video that breaks Pornhub's terms of use

twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, îl hrănești pentru o zi. Om învățat de ouă, îl va hrăni pentru o viață întreagă." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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