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Is today the day when I should finally end it all? ⎝ 
🔫
Is today the day when I should finally end it all? ⎝ 🔫
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What happened to this ad? :(
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Shrek is love. Shrek is life
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
Shrek
Classic
First time I got smash 4 and tried it
twitchquotes:
First time I got smash 4 and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop an Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo. Fucking inexcusable. I really hope Sakurai dies so the series can see its full potential.
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Super Smash Bros
Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star
Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
Ben Shapiro
Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs
twitchquotes:
(ง╭ರ_•́)ง Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs, foul Moderinos (ง╭ರ_•́)ง
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Reynad
It's seen as a bit of skillfull fun
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When Kripp gets a good topdeck, its seen as a bit of skillful fun. BUT when his opponent topdecks precisely the only card that can beat him, and there's nothing Kripp can do, together with a CRAZY deck that his deck can't win against, hes called lucky?
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Kripp