[Copypasta] Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴀᴜʟ ɢᴏᴏᴅᴍᴀɴ. ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ɪʟʟᴇɢᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ ɢʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғɪʟᴛʜʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴜsᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

Kripp's chat is not raising enough dongers

twitchquotes: Dearest Kripparian, this is the Donger Police. We have inside information that states your chat has not been raising a sufficient amount of dongers. We are going to have to shut down your stream if you don't ask your chat to raise their dongers.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey TSM, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey T S M, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing