[Copypasta] Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health. We have received reports of excessive PJSalt production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest Kappa station to be deported.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

salty

I've been making memes since I was 11

twitchquotes: Lɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, I'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 11, ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 17, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs 20. Iᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ 6 ʏᴇᴀʀs ɴᴏᴡ. Gᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ɴᴇʀᴅ :^)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Sneakily squeak until light of dawn

twitchquotes: When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I miss the old no life Kripp

twitchquotes: I miss the old no life Kripp. It's a shame a game like Hearthstone has turned him from the no life all day "hardcore gamer" to someone with a life and a girlfriends with tons of money. Kripp I will now unsub to you and pray for you that one day you will come back to what you once were and not the $$ making girl kissing gamer with a life, that is all
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game

twitchquotes: EleGiggle THAT MOMENT EleGiggle WHEN YOU EleGiggle REALIZE EleGiggle EleGiggle THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH EleGiggle TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN EleGiggle PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME EleGiggle
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing