[Copypasta] FLIPP ALL THE TABLES

twitchquotes: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ FLIP THAT TABLE. ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE. ┻━┻ ︵ \\('0')// ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES ಠ_ಠ Son... ಠ_ಠ Put. ಠ__ಠ The tables. ಠ___ಠ Back. (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER!!!!
twitch chat
October 2016
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Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. 💎✊ your 🚀🚀🚀 $COCK to the 🌑
February 2021

WallStreetBets

PauseChamp

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠂⠀ ⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⠟⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⢉⣼⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣩⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢋⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣁⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣈⡻⠋⠁⠀⠀ ⣰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⡶⠶⠶⢶⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣻⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠄⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

I sexually Identify as tyler1

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that I’m fucking retarded, but I don’t care, I’m an alpha. I’m having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me “tyler1” and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
twitch chat
June 2016
Tyler1

I sexually Identify as

League of Legends

Visited by the MIGHTY DREADSTEED of the Nether

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 IF YOU SEE THIS WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by the MIGHTY DREADSTEED of the nether, he will leave you alone BUT only if you COPY and PASTE this message 3 times 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing