[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Chemical Vegan

twitchquotes: Sugar! PJSugar Spice! PJSalt And everything nice! OhMyDog CoolCat KappaPride These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! BabyRage
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hello Kripp, this is Juan Jose Manuel Torres Esteban Rodriguez Ochoa Martinez Lopez Jr

twitchquotes: нello ĸrιpp, jυan joѕé мanυel тorreѕ eѕтeвan rodrιgυez ocнoa мarтιnez lopez jr. нere. ι no lιĸe yoυr cнaт. pleaѕe ғrιendѕ, no мore ѕpaммerιno ιn cнaтerιno oĸ aмιgo? or elѕe ι нop вorderιno. no cappυccιno.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Obey the call of Kripp'Thuzad

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽ Minions, (ง •̀_•́)ง servants, <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Kripp'Thuzad ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)!!!
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Story of Felipe

twitchquotes: Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing