[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed

twitchquotes: Kripparian's true name is Octavian. Octavian is derived from the Latin word for 8. Latin was the language of Rome. Rome fell to Barbarians. Kripp played a Barbarian. Barbarian is 9 letters. Kripparrian is 11 letters. 9/11. Kripparrian is Illuminati Confirmed.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'

twitchquotes: My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing