[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

Ben Shapiro owns another Libtard

Are you a left or right wing?!”, the dark ominous figure booms. I know it’s over. “I-I’m a d-democr—“ Instantly I lose all bodily functions. I collapse to the floor, screaming in agony, spasming. The great Ben Shapiro stands over my lifeless body. “Libtard has been owned.”
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: OTHER REGION COMING THROUGH LULW RANDOM HEALTH PROBLEMS LULW SUPER SPECIFIC SOCIETAL ISSUE LULW EMBARASSING MOMENT IN HISTORY LULW BRING UP YET ANOTHER SPECIFIC WEIRD EVENT LULW
twitch chat
May 2019

EU vs NA

FACEBOOK OUTDAITED

twitchquotes: Jebaited FACEBOOK OUTDATED Jebaited PRIVACY OVERRATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE AWAITED Jebaited NSA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2018
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