[Copypasta] Flex Tape

twitchquotes: To show you the power of Flex Tape, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only Flex Tape. Not only does Flex Tape's powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong, water-tight seal so the inside is completely dry. YEE DOGGIE! Just cut, peel, stick, and seal. Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

Born perfectly to explore dank memes

twitchquotes: Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes β—• ͜ Κ– Ν‘ Ν‘β—•
twitch chat
January 2015

Classic

Moai statue head

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October 2021

Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who asked

β €β €β €β €β €β €.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸ .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€βœ¦ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. γ€€γ€€βœ¦β €γ€€β€‚β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ β €γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β €γ€€γ€€, β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€β €γ€€γ€€γ€€β €.γ€€ Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€β €γ€€β €β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. . β €γ€€γ€€β €β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β €βœ¦β €γ€€ . .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€β € . Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. .⠀  ⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀‍⠀, *γ€€γ€€β €. .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β €βœ¦ Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ .β €γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. βœ¦β €γ€€β€‚β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€,γ€€γ€€β€ˆβ€Šβ€Šβ€Š β €γ€€γ€€ .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€β €γ€€γ€€γ€€. Λšγ€€γ€€γ€€β €γ€€β €β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€, .γ€€γ€€γ€€ β €β€ˆγ€€γ€€β€‚β€‚β€‚β€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β€ˆγ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who askedβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β €β €β €βœ¦ β € β €γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€β €β €β €β €β €* β €β €β €.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €βœ¦β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β € β €β €β €β €β €β €.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸ .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.
January 2021

Classic

Who Asked?

First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb"

twitchquotes: First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb". I didn't study half a semester of Japanese history and do a google maps tour of Tokyo so that some uncultured swine would walk around calling me a weeb like its an insult. Japanese culture is my life, not some sort of past time you idiots. And yes, I will be visiting Japan for the first time next year when air travel costs go down.
twitch chat
June 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing