[Copypasta] Your only friend is Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT MOMENT FeelsBadMan WHEN YOU REALIZE FeelsBadMan THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND FeelsBadMan IS TWITCH CHAT FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called โ€œdoctorโ€ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donโ€™t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

100% reason to go for the face

twitchquotes: 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% slowly ranking uphill, 5% topdeck, 50% race or just 100% reason to go for the face SMOrc
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chug jug with you (lyrics)

We got a... 1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!) Ten kills on the board right now Just wiped out Tomato Town My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) He said.. "Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?" "I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP." "Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari." "I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet." "There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!" I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend. I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer! Cool.. pro.. Fortnite? (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus) La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2 La, lA AUGHH La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?) Pro Fortnite Gamer.. Can we get a win this weekend? Take me to Loot Lake! Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate! Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone! I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone! Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro! He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack! I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale.. (Chorus) Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today! You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake! I really love to.. Chug Jug with you! We can be pro Fortnite gamers! (End of chorus)
March 2021

Fortnite

jeSUS

So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church ,which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week. But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus." "Jesus." "JeSUS." No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us." "WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. My words echoed throughout the room for five seconds before fading into complete silence. Everyone was staring at me as I had a huge grin on my face, perfectly replicating the face from the "when the imposter is sus" meme (Google it if you don't know what it is.) They all had this look on their faces as if I had just slaughtered 7,924 Afghanian children. "Why do you all have that look on your faces? Did someone do a Fortnite dance?" And there was still complete silence. I actually had to make sure I wasn't wearing my noise cancelling headphones that I always wear while playing Among Us. I could not believe that not one person in the room was dying of laughter!! "Young man, please be quiet" said the priest. He was literally the one who made the Among Us reference in the first place. What's his problem? "THAT'S NOT VERY WHOLESOME!!!!!!!!!!" This guy was definitely the imposter. There's no way he couldn't be. I Naruto ran faster than anyone has ever Naruto ran before. Even Naruto himself would be proud of me. As I was making my way up to the imposter, the security guard was chasing after me! I had to think fast. After being chased around the room for two minutes, I hastily undid my pants and peed in the security guard's eyes. As he was being blinded by my pee, he was stumbling around and bumped into the wall very hard. A crucifix fell off the wall and impaled his stupid, ugly fat head. He fell and a pool of blood soon formed around him. Everyone in the church was screaming and running out the door. I slammed my hand down on the crucifix, replicating the button you press in Among Us, which drove the crucifix further into his skull. "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!" No one laughed. They were too busy screaming to notice. Whatever. I stripped completely naked and went up to the priest. I replicated the Big Chungus pose with 100% accuracy. "You probably don't even use Reddit. That's not very keanu chungus wholesome 100 of you. Go subscribe to r/atheism." The priest had a look of shock on his face when I said that. The kind of face one would make if they caught their beloved child playing Fortnite. He held a cross in front of himself and started talking about "possession" and "demons." He obviously doesn't know how to play Among Us so naturally, I felt bad for him. But he was still the imposter. I grabbed him and threw him across the church, sending him crashing through the window and slammed against the street outside. A car ran over his head, causing his brain and skull fragments to splatter everywhere. Then, I heard sirens and a helicopter flying around above the church. I went upstairs to the roof to check out what was going on. "This is the police! Get down from the roof now or we will shoot!" This guy is so sus, let me tell ya. Obviously, I was not going to listen to an imposter so I was Naruto running around the roof. Bullets from the helicopter were raining down from above but none of them hit me since I was Naruto running so fast. "Dammit, I can't hit him!" I knew I had him beat then. So, I pulled out my gun (I always keep a glock in my foreskin so I can pull the Among Us death animation when I lose my virginity because I know it makes girls horny.) I shot at the helicopter and it started spinning out of control and crashed into the front of the church, causing a huge explosion. The roof started sliding off from the building, which landed on the cop cars and killed 8 cops. This also flung me into the street and I broke my foot, which was very sus. I limped all the way to the woods where I am now hiding and writing this. I will update as soon as I can but I need to get out of here soon because I can hear people looking for me.
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

DONALD TRUMP NUDES

twitchquotes: IF ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SEE ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A LINK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SAYS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONALD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TRUMP ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ NUDES ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONโ€™T ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ CLICK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ITS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ VIRUS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ PUTS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ AMERICAN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ FLAGS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ BETWEEN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ EVERY ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ WORD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TYPE
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing