[Copypasta] Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate? I thought not. It’s not a story the f2p btw would tell you. It’s a P2W legendary. Open the Waygate was a Quest from Journey to Un’Goro, so powerful and so astounding it could use Time Warp to influence the end turn button to create another turn… It had such a knowledge of the spaghetti code that it could even keep the worthy opponents it faced from having a turn. The spaghetti code is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be imbalanced. It became so powerful… the only thing it was afraid of was losing its power, which eventually, of course, it did. Unfortunately, it drew every card from its deck, then its worthy opponent set it to one health. Ironic. It could stop others from drawling, but not itself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Chess is too basic for Kripp

twitchquotes: "Well," Kripp drawled, a toothy grin splitting his face, "I think chess is a little too basic a game for me. I mean, only 6 different types of pieces? It's a game for children. No strategy whatsoever" That said, he proceeded to chortle as his opponents Huffer triggered his effigy, creating a Nexus Champion Sarad. "Outplayed."
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Toast the rarity of your reveal card was nerfed

twitchquotes: Toast, this is Blizzard employee. The rarity of your reveal card was just nerfed to common. To get a rare card, please mention the new expansion at least 4 more times.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

Dan from the next room over

twitchquotes: Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you shut the fuck up for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that little card game tournament. Peace out, squirt
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing