[Copypasta] Kappa dab

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Obama

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆβ–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ– β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
April 2021

I orgasmed during an online zoom class

Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm literally shaking so hard rn. So like the randy horny mf I am, I was jerking off and edging myself before one of my online classes. Then the class started so I joined. Our teacher's pretty strict and all and expects cameras on at all times. So I just sat there whilst everyone joined, still horny as hell. I had my dick pressed between my legs still. Teacher's going round asking us how the weekend went yada yada. So now it's my turn to speak. I unmute my mic to say my stuff and whilst I'm talking I squeeze my legs a little too hard and come hard as fuck causing to me to literally moan LIKE A FUCKING WHALE and make my horrid contorted orgasm face RIGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA WITH MY MIC UNMUTED WHILST THE ENTIRE CLASS OF 40 STUDENTS ARE WATCHING. LET'S NOT EVEN FORGET THAT MY FACE WAS FULL-SCREEN WHILST I WAS SPEAKING. In a total crazy panic, I leave the class. I'm dropping that class asap. No, scratch that. Dropping out of college altogether. No way can I go back there again. Might as well drop off this earth while I'm at it.
September 2021

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Cock and ball torture

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
August 2021

NSFW

SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS

twitchquotes: γƒΎ(β›Ξ΅β›β€œ)Κƒ SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT γƒΎ(β›Ξ΅β›β€œ)Κƒ
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September 2014
imaqtpie
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