[Copypasta] I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: 🤔 In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? 🤔
twitch chat
June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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What's it like playing against Patron

twitchquotes: Sometimes when I see my opponent drop that Warsong Commander, I quickly turn my volume up to max, let go of my mouse, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I let the sounds of whirling blades and orc and dwarf voices engulf me and dive into a dream-like state where only I exist, floating through space with a sweet warmth in my belly. It's almost therapeutic.
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October 2015
Kolento

Hearthstone

Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon

twitchquotes: Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon™. As many of you know, we have recently bought over "Twitch tv". Users must now buy 'Emotes' such as " Kappa ", " Kreygasm " and " FrankerZ ". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

The Story of Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed. “My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.
April 2021

Kanye West

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

Think, Mark! Think! (Invincible show meme script)

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYONE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BLOW AWAY! EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 500 YEARS?!
June 2021
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