[Copypasta] I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: πŸ€” In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? πŸ€”
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

Peter Griffin Brian Griffin face swap

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March 2022

Gotta hit up the bathroom V2

twitchquotes: "Give me a second guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom". He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a blank stare. As Dex yips, Kripp stands up out of his chair, saying "This game is ok." at a medium volume. Rania continues streaming, and Kripp walks past her on the way to the bathroom. After taking a few breaths, Kripp walks back to his desk, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Bender

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September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing