[Copypasta] I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"

Excuse me sir or ma'am but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?" Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet." And here you are! I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other. I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat). Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess! EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said? EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore EDIT 6: hey are you there?
September 2021

Simps

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

Sorry I dropped my bag of doritos

twitchquotes: ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

VisLaud

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡤⢶⣿⣻⣶⣏⡟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣧⣾⣵⠾⠟⠋⢉⣉⣉⣉⣀⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣤⠄ ⠄⣸⡿⠿⠋⢹⠉⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠗ ⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠃⠄⢠⣄⣤⣤⣶⡾⠉⣉⠄⠄ ⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣴⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣯⡁⠈⠙⡟⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄ ⠸⣷⡆⢀⣤⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⡿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠃⠙⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠺⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡐⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⣀⣀⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
June 2019

When a streamer complains it's seen as letting some steam out...

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴs ɪᴛ's sᴇᴇɴ ᴀs ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ. Bᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛʀᴀᴘs ᴀ 30150-ALQAIDA ʙᴏᴍʙᴠᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ 15 ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴏɴ ʀᴀᴅɪᴜs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ HᴇᴀᴅQᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀ Pʏʀᴏʙʟᴀsᴛ... ʜᴇ's ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴀʟᴛʏ?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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