[Copypasta] I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like heā€™s really tall and large but the guy couldnā€™t be more than 5ā€™4ā€. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said ā€œThe required information is in the lab directionsā€ but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadnā€™t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology Iā€™ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldnā€™t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
March 2022
Jerma985

My blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities

twitchquotes: In greece, Kripparrian has risening from his antiwoke. As the Kripparrian plays cardstone, my blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities. For Kripparrian wins 50 cardstone. From a statistically standingpoint this is without precidenting! A hugely kilometerstone!
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen

twitchquotes: This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen. I work with mentally handicapped people and i've been all over the world. I have been to beauty pageants and monster truck events. I have met a kid with an IQ of 8. I have even met President George W. Bush. But this chat is truly the most retarded thing I have ever encountered.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport

twitchquotes: Also, Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport. People spam garbage over and over until eventually the mods get fed up and clamp down on spam. I don't blame them for it. Get creative and stop ruining twitch chat for everyone
twitch chat
August 2020

I accidentally ran over my wifeā€™s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming itā€™s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didnā€™t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didnā€™t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I donā€™t know what to do, Iā€™m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022
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