[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."

September 2021

Bender

───────────────────────────── ─────────────▐█▌───────────── ─────────────▐░▌───────────── ─────────────▐░▌───────────── ─────────────▐░▌───────────── ──────────▄▄▀░░░▀▄▄────────── ────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░▀▄──────── ──────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄────── ─────▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌───── ────▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌──── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌─── ──▄███████████████████████▄── ─████▀────▀███████▀────▀███▄─ ─███▀───────█████────────███─ ─███───███───███───███───███─ ─███───▀▀▀───███───▀▀▀───███─ ─▀███▄─────▄█████▄─────▄███▀─ ──▀███████████████████████▀── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐░▄▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀▄░▌─── ───▐░█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█░▌─── ───▐░█──█──█──█──█──█──█░▌─── ───▐░█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█▀▀█░▌─── ───▐░▀▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄█▄▄▀░▌─── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ───▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌─── ────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────

ascii art

September 2021

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

January 2022

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.

twitch chat

June 2020

Misogynist Pig Kripp

twitchquotes: you have an "!imgay" response but don't have an "!imbi", "!imtrans*", "!imfurry", "!imreallyacat", or "!imfeminist" response? misogynist pig kripp

twitch chat

October 2014

Kripp

[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

Bender

How to kill a geologist

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

Misogynist Pig Kripp

Confirm Subscription