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๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐๐
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I used to be a real ad
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I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeรฑo," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeรฑo." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.
FEELS TEST
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FEELS TEST 
IF YOU TOUCH THE FEELS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED โ
IF YOU TOUCH THE FEELS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED โ
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Chat Test
PASTE THIS CREEP FOR THE REVERSE SWEEP
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PASTE 
THIS CREEP FOR THE REVERSE SWEEP
THIS CREEP FOR THE REVERSE SWEEP
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Rhyme Chant
Happy Thanksgiving emoji
Happy ๐ฆ Thanksgiving ๐ฆ! Guess what ๐ฏโitโs that time โฐ of year ๐ to gobble ๐ฆ gobble ๐ฆ gobble ๐ฆ up โฌ๏ธ those dicks ๐ chicks ๐ฅ and bicks ๐คจ (big dicks) ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ I bet ๐ youโre all ๐ค๐ค๐ค HORNY-copia ๐ฝ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ถ๐โ๏ธ๐๐๐ for SKANKS-giving ๐คช๐๐คค๐คค๐๐๐ youโll be saying ๐ฌ thanks ๐ for giving me all ๐ซ this ๐ซ COCK ๐ฅณ๐ฅณ๐ฅณ๐ฅณ send this to ๐ of your thiccest sluts with those hot ๐ฅต hot ๐ฅ tasty ๐คค๐ peach pies ๐ฅง ๐ ๐๐ if you know 
what I mean โบ๏ธ๐๐ if you get 1๏ธโฃ back ๐๐คฌ๐ก then you and that slut ๐คค๐คค๐คค๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ have to appropriate Native American culture together ๐๐ชถ๐ if you get 3๏ธโฃ back ๐๐ค youโre going to get your turkey ๐ฆ eaten ๐๐๐๐๐ tomorrow night ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ if you get 5๏ธโฃ back ๐๐ you will be eating your cousinโs ๐ถ๐ป peach ๐ pie ๐ฅง just like youโve always ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏwanted ๐๐คค๐ฅต if you get 7๏ธโฃ back ๐ถ youโll become ๐ฒ๐ฒ a pilgrim ๐ฉ๐ and be the villain ๐ฆนโโ๏ธ of American ๐บ๐ธ history ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ if you get all 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ youโll be feasting ๐คค๐ this thanksgiving ๐๐ in more ways than one ๐ซ๐๐๐ผ๐ okay you sexy ๐ sexy ๐ gobbling turkey poos ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ itโs time โฐ for me to go โก๏ธ atone ๐คฃfor the sins โ๏ธ ๐of my ancestors๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ผโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐จ๐ผ๐คฐ๐ผ๐คฑ๐ผ๐ฉโ๐ง๐คช๐คช๐คช๐คช๐คช
what I mean โบ๏ธ๐๐ if you get 1๏ธโฃ back ๐๐คฌ๐ก then you and that slut ๐คค๐คค๐คค๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ have to appropriate Native American culture together ๐๐ชถ๐ if you get 3๏ธโฃ back ๐๐ค youโre going to get your turkey ๐ฆ eaten ๐๐๐๐๐ tomorrow night ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ if you get 5๏ธโฃ back ๐๐ you will be eating your cousinโs ๐ถ๐ป peach ๐ pie ๐ฅง just like youโve always ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏwanted ๐๐คค๐ฅต if you get 7๏ธโฃ back ๐ถ youโll become ๐ฒ๐ฒ a pilgrim ๐ฉ๐ and be the villain ๐ฆนโโ๏ธ of American ๐บ๐ธ history ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ if you get all 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ๐ฑ๐คฏ youโll be feasting ๐คค๐ this thanksgiving ๐๐ in more ways than one ๐ซ๐๐๐ผ๐ okay you sexy ๐ sexy ๐ gobbling turkey poos ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ itโs time โฐ for me to go โก๏ธ atone ๐คฃfor the sins โ๏ธ ๐of my ancestors๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ผโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐จ๐ผ๐คฐ๐ผ๐คฑ๐ผ๐ฉโ๐ง๐คช๐คช๐คช๐คช๐คช
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