twitchquotes:
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐๐
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston
twitchquotes:
I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer 
that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer
twitch chat
Kripp
First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb"
twitchquotes:
First of all, I'm sick of the term "Weeb". I didn't study half a semester of Japanese history and do a google maps tour of Tokyo so that some uncultured swine would walk around calling me a weeb like its an insult. Japanese culture is my life, not some sort of past time you idiots. And yes, I will be visiting Japan for the first time next year when air travel costs go down.
twitch chat
Weebs
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
โYouโre awake!โ She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
โWhere am I?โ You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
โYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to itโs extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.โ
โHow?โ You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
โYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.โ
โWill I not die?โ
โYou canโt die. You are immortal. You donโt even have a body and yet you continue to existโ
โฆ
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You donโt even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.
Infinite Cum
My laptop gets hot when chat is spammed
twitchquotes:
Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat
twitch chat
Classic
A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion
As a chef, itโs an insult to hear โair fryers are as good as fryingโ. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added.
Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time Iโm gonna smack the gob out of you.
Edit: Iโm in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill
Edit2: Iโll never stop upvoting and loving you all butโฆ but Iโm just gonna go cry about something totally different..
Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an โextra air ovenโ as its a convection oven with extra fans.
Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment โyou clearly donโt own an air fryerโ Iโd be able to put it towards a new toaster oven.
Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isnโt high.. but never zero.
Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.