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twitchquotes: ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜บ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜๐˜š๐˜—
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
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You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021

Dyrus in Jail

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April 2014
Dyrus

HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS

twitchquotes: monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS
twitch chat
February 2017

Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. โ€œPepperoniโ€ Kripp whispered into Amazโ€™s elvish ear, as they started making out. โ€œDoโ€ฆdo I win?โ€ Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. โ€œYour deck is crazyโ€ Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. โ€œItโ€™s lethal guysโ€ Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
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August 2017
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Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers โ€œ1โ€ โ€œ9โ€ โ€œ8โ€ and 4โ€ on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. โ€œItโ€™s for hunting,โ€ you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. โ€œOne more thing.โ€ You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. โ€œI need to see your vaccination cardโ€ It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. โ€œDon't worry, it will all be over soonโ€ He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your โ€œsocialism is for figsโ€ shirt into your arm. โ€œNighty nightโ€ Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

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