[Copypasta] In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

A variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/4462
I used to be a real ad
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Le Toucan has arrived

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘leβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘toucanβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘hasβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘arrivedβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘
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January 2015

Classic

Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Moon emoji blob

πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŽ©πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸ‘„πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŽ€πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸ†πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ• πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸ‘ πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•
ascii art
February 2021

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat

twitchquotes: The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

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Hearthstone

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