[Copypasta] In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

A variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/4462
I used to be a real ad
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Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

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Tanner from High School

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHubβ„’. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

KappaPride

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Thinking Emoji

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
May 2017

Classic

ASCENDED invisible spam

twitchquotes: ASCENDED invisible spam                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PogChamp
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

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