[Copypasta] My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Qt has finally reached rank one

twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. Qt has finally reached rank one, "Lisha I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty mansion. Lisha left long ago...
twitch chat
May 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

Just a feller out on the farm

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⡇⠀⠀ KKona ⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣧⣇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣷⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⠀⣠⣤⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡷⠀ ⠻⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣀ ⠀⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢙⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠛⠓ ⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠟⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿ Don't mind me, just a feller out on the farm.
March 2019

Classic

Malta vs Penguins

This does not change the fact that in Antarctica there are 21 million penguins and in Malta there are 502,653 inhabitants. So if the penguins decide to invade Malta, each Maltese will have to fight 42 penguins.
May 2021

Classic

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