[Copypasta] you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( 汀掳 蜏蕱 汀掳) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( 汀掳 蜏蕱 汀掳)
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

Put shoe on head to prove not pre-recorded

twitchquotes: 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 PUT SHOE ON HEAD TO PROVE NOT PRE-RECORDED 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won鈥檛 give it to you because he鈥檚 never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he鈥檚 letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM

twitchquotes: 4Head HELLO 911 馃摓 4Head JAKE IS IN MY ROOM 馃摓 4Head HE HAS A PULSE BOMB 馃摓 4Head WHATS THAT? 馃摓 4Head ILL BE OKAY? 馃摓 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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