[Copypasta] Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
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WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

DONGER DIPLOMACY

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
April 2021

WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠉⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣆⣾⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⢶⣦⣦⠄⣀⣽⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀ ⡇⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠙⠋⢉⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣿ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⢿⣆⠄⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠁⠈⠙⠩⠿⠍⠙⠻⠄⠉⣰⣿⡿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣋⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣟⣁⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⠍⢍⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
June 2019
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