[Copypasta] Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Riot's script for Worlds

twitchquotes: The year is 2046. Faker's mind has been uploaded to a robotic host. With SKT's 33rd World Championship victory, every champion in the game now has SKT skins. NA still hasn't reached semis, EU is still salty, and China continues to choke. Such is Riot's script.
twitch chat
October 2016

League of Legends

POLICE VOLIBEAR

twitchquotes: HotPokket HELLO RIOT? ☎️ HotPokket MAE HERE ☎️ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED ☎️ HotPokket IM TRIGGERED ☎️ HotPokket
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

Starege

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⠛⠉⠉⠛⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⡶⢶⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣶⣄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⣿⡇⢀⢻⣿⣷⡀⢰⣿⣿⠁⠈⣿⡇⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⢁⣀⣀⣀⡀⢿⡇⠘⣸⣿⣿⠁⢿⣿⣿⡘⠄⣿⠇⣀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠻⣿ ⡿⢃⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠈⠻⠿⣿⠿⢋⣄⡜⠿⣿⣿⡾⠋⢠⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈ ⢁⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣧⡈⠓⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠚⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⡿⢁⢶⣦⡈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⢋⣭⡍⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⣾⣄⠻⣿⣦⣈⡛⠻⠿⢿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣁⣴⣿⠏⣡⠄⢿⣿ ⠙⠂⠙⣿⣷⣄⡙⠛⠻⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠿⠿⠛⢋⣠⣾⡟⠄⠚⠛ ⣶⣤⡀⠄⠙⠻⠿⢷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⠿⠟⠋⠄⠄⢀⣠ ⠟⣛⣩⣴⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠈⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣐⣛⣻ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

Pepe

Twitch's terrible Bounty commercial

twitchquotes: Four people on me. Quick I need help. Dash, we're on then way. Come on guys we got this. NOOOO. NOOOO.Quick! The quicker picker upper.A spill? No biggie.That's right chat, ya GOTTA have Bounty at your battle station. My man! Let's get back into this. Cover Me, cover me. Guy's I'm still knocked over here. Bounty. The Quicker Picker-upper.
twitch chat
June 2020

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing