[Copypasta] Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch The Twitch Anti-Bot Algorithm(TM) has detected you may be a bot. Please press the A key on your keyboard and then press the key combo CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot.โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
May 2019

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries

twitchquotes: Hey Aura, thanks for telling me about Energizer batteries. Before Energizer I would be listening to my walkman and the battery would die and then I could hear my wife in the other room having sex with you. That would lead me to tears. Now using Energizer the battery doesn't die as quickly and I can listen to your VODs that I ripped without your permission on repeat and not notice her taking it hard. I don't need to rehydrate as often since I won't be crying. Thank you
twitch chat
July 2020
Aurateur

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต , heart surgeon โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ . Number one ๐Ÿ˜ญโ˜๏ธ . Steady hand๐Ÿ˜ณโœ‹๏ธ. One day, Yakuza boss ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปneed ๐Ÿ†• heart๐Ÿ’˜. I do operation๐Ÿ”ชโš”๏ธ. But, mistake๐Ÿ˜ฑ! Yakuza boss die๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ช! Yakuza very mad๐Ÿ‘ฟ. I hide๐Ÿ™ˆ in fishing boat๐ŸŸ๐Ÿšฃ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ, come to America๐ŸŽ‡๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ. No english๐Ÿค, no food๐Ÿ˜ฉ, no money๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฒ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟgive me job๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ผ. Now I have house๐Ÿก, American car ๐Ÿš— , and new woman ๐Ÿ†•๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. Darryl ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟsave lifeโ›‘. My big secret๐Ÿ™Š: I kill โ˜ ๏ธyakuza boss on purpose๐Ÿ˜ˆ. I good ๐Ÿ‘surgeon. The best๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

R-Reynad-sama? Could you please roleplay?

twitchquotes: (ยปยฐ _ ยฐยซ) R-Reynad-sama? Could you please, um, roleplay, so when your hero takes damage... you um, p-pretend y-you take damage...! T-thank you... (>/////<)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Weebs

Classic

Hearthstone

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