[Copypasta] you are now manually breathing

twitchquotes: :) you are now manually breathing :) you are now manually blinking :) you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth :) you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched :)
twitch chat
July 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Own a musket for home defense

twitchquotes: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
August 2019

If Biden wins, I'm moving to Alaska

twitchquotes: I simply will not stand to live in a country ruled by Biden. So if he wins the election, I am packing my bags and moving far away, where Joseph "Malarkey" Biden cannot reach me. I will be starting a new life in Alaska.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Plankton

──────▄▄───────────▄▄─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€ β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–Œβ”€β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β–β”€β”€β–Œβ”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€
September 2021

Spoilers in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Keep sharing spoilers guys! Those shows seem so interesting, I'm so glad I'm reading all these spoilers. What about some Game of Thrones spoilers now? How hard can you spoil it?
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Thanks Nivea!

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ GUYS GUYS , just used new Nivea Lotion on my donger and now it looks 10 years youger , THANKS NIVEA γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing