[Copypasta] you are now manually breathing

twitchquotes: :) you are now manually breathing :) you are now manually blinking :) you are aware that your tongue cannot find a comfy place in your mouth :) you are aware of all the itches on your body that need to be scratched :)
twitch chat
July 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

OJ Overdose

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΚ˜ΜšΩ„ΝœΚ˜ΜšΰΌ½οΎ‰ OJ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴅᴏsᴇ γƒ½ΰΌΌΚ˜ΜšΩ„ΝœΚ˜ΜšΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣀⣀⣄⣢③⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β’ β‘¦β‘Ÿβ »β ›β ™β ‰β ˆβ „β „β ˆβ »β ›β£Ύβ£¦β£€β£€β „β „ β „β „β „β£°β‘Ώβ Ÿβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β ‹β ½β’Ώβ£§β „ β „β’€β£΄β žβ ‚β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Όβ †β „ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣀⣢⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⠄⣻⑃⠄ ⠄⑿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦Ⓒ⣧⠄ ⠄Ⓙ⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⒰⑇⠄ β „β’Έβ‘‡β „β „β’€β „β „β „β „β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ£―β ‰β’‰β£Ώβ ‹β£Ÿβ’»β‘‡β „ ⠄⠄Ⓓ⑀⒳⑗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ β „β „β ˆβ£·β „β’³β£·β£Ώβ „β „β’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β „β „β ˜β£§β „β ˆβ ™β „β „β „β ‰β ™β ›β ›β£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£€β£„β’Ώβ‘Ώβ ƒβ „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⑀⠄⠄⠄⒒⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⒉⣽⠇⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β Ώβ£„β’€β „β£€β£β’»β£Ώβ‘Ώβ ’β£€β£€β£Έβ β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ³β£€β β ™β Žβ’»β£„β „β „β£Έβ ‹β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ™β Άβ’¦β£„β£€β££β ΄β ƒβ „β „β „β „β „
February 2020

Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. I’m disgusted and I’m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time it’s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders aren’t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dad’s wife’s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and I’m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. I’m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. She’s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates it’s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. It’s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. It’s 2021 you bigots.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Nyan Cat

________β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„______ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ_____ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„_ __β–„β–„___β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ_ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„_ _β–€β–„β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ_ _____β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–’β–’β–ˆ ______β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–„β–€_ ____β–„β–€β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€___ ____β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_______β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ_____
November 2014

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

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