[Copypasta] Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Fuck You Chat

⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⠛⠃⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⠟⠻⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⢠⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣷⣶⣶⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⣀⣰⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣀⣠⣿⡶⠄⣿⣿⠃⢹⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠋⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠄⠛⠛⠄⠄⠛⠛⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⡄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⢠⣤⡄⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣄⣼⣿⠃⣰⣿⠟⠛⢿⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⡿⠁⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠹⣿⣦⣤⣼⣿⠃⠄⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⡄⠄⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⠋⠙⠿⠗⠄⣿⣿⣀⣀⣿⣿⠄⠄⣸⣿⢿⣷⠄⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣏⣸⣿⡆⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣴⣿⡟⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠁⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
June 2019

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Secret Puerto Rican lover

twitchquotes: Hola, Kripp, this is Antonio, Rania's secret Puerto Rican lover. I mistakenly left a package of my Magnum XXL Heavy-Duty Condoms at your place last night while you were complaining about a children's card game. I was hoping I could swing by tonight and pick them up. I'll just go in through the backdoor just like how I do with Rania, the dirty girl! Thanks, and good luck with your funny little computer game!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Classic

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

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