twitchquotes:
🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
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What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I am Admiral Akbar, commander of the Somalian Piraterinos
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Kripp
Homo Sapiens
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When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Scraggly vegan is the only one left
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BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
I want to be Kripp's knee
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Ｉ ｓｅｅ Ｋｒｉｐｐ＇ｓ ｋｎｅｅ， Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｌｉｃｋ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｅｅ． Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｌｉｖｅ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｅｅ． Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｅｅ． Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｅｅ ｆｒｅｅ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｄｏｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｐｏｏｐｅｒｉｎｏ．
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Kripp