[Copypasta] A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp
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More Kripp Copypastas

Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you

twitchquotes: As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. Kreygasm
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena

twitchquotes: KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife

twitchquotes: A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife, he stumbled across an old woman in an alleyway after buying some lentil soup. She told Kripp to give him the soup and in return he would find a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, Kripp didnt realize the old woman was the succubus Raina, who would eventually make him a simple casualarrians
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing