[Copypasta] When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

Master the donger

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

The Nun

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡌⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⠄⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⢸⠉⠠⠻⠎⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠙⠛⢿⡇⠃⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠄⠄⠰⠆⠄⢸⣿⠇⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⣿⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣷⣄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣠⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⣤⠠⠈⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠄⠈⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⢸⣻⡃⠄⢾⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⠄⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠃⠄⠄⣞⣇⠄⠐⡿⣣⡤⠤⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠹⣞⡀⠄⠄⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄ ⠄⡘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣀⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡆⠄ ⢀⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣺⣿⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄ ⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄
November 2019

Ukrainian President asks Kripp for help

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴜᴋʀᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴏʟᴇᴋsᴀɴᴅʀ ᴛᴜʀᴄʜʏɴᴏᴠɪɴᴏ. ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴏᴘᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʀᴜssɪᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴs ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴊ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

country roads stick figure dance

country roads 🤚 😣/ _/|| _/¯ ¯\_ take me home 👋 \ 😩 || \_ _/¯ ¯\_ to the place 🤚 😳/ _/|| _/¯ ¯\_ I BELOOOONG 😭 👊/||\_ _/¯ ¯\_
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing