[Copypasta] I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/qil34t/comment/hilda9s/
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WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. 💎✊ your 🚀🚀🚀 $COCK to the 🌑
February 2021

WallStreetBets

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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