[Copypasta] We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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More WallStreetBets Copypastas

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election

Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks πŸ“ŠπŸ“ go up πŸ“ˆπŸ’Έ, my dick goes too πŸ†β¬†οΈπŸ˜³. Bullish πŸ‚ market 🏬 makes me hard πŸ¦΄πŸ’¦. All the countries πŸ³οΈπŸ΄πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈπŸπŸš©πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡³ try to recover πŸ”„ from corona 🦠 so the money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ flows 🌬 into my pocket πŸ’³. Soon πŸ”œ there will be a crash πŸ“‰πŸ˜­πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜– and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes πŸ•³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βœ‚οΈπŸ†πŸ©Έ if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out πŸ‘…πŸ˜Έ. I must turn into a bear πŸ‚βž‘οΈπŸ» and make 🀌🏼 more money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done βœ… I’ll throw a party πŸŽ‰πŸ·πŸΎ and eat your ass πŸ‘…πŸ‘.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave β€œsmile more” on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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