Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit
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Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?
This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
Am I The Asshole?
WallStreetBets
a tesla drives down the street in 2021
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
WallStreetBets
GME to the moon
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.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎγββγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγβοΈif we holdγγ.
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γγβγ π β β if we sell β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
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WallStreetBets
Classic
NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.
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NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
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NOT PRESSING βSELLβ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
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IβLL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
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CANβT STOP. WONβT STOP. GAMESTOP.
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TOMORROW, I THINK IβLL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
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IβLL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITβS GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
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I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND IβM NOT SELLING, AND IβM NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
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WallStreetBets
Investing in gourd futures
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.