[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son πŸ‘¦πŸ» can be homer sexual πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ My daughter πŸ‘§πŸ» can be lebanese πŸ‘­ But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child πŸ‘ΆπŸ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul πŸ™…πŸ»β€
twitch chat
August 2018
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More Copypastas

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros

twitchquotes: Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kolento

You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb?

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb????? None , their to busy ???? Their gender πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
August 2021

RIOT RIOT RIOT

twitchquotes: ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ RIOT ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ RIOT ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ RIOT ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ RIOT ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€ RIOT ᕦ(Γ²_Γ³Λ‡)α•€
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
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