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[Copypasta]Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul
twitchquotes:My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻
⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Buff bunny (my gf telling the waitress my food is wrong)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress
⠀＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀my food is wrong
/⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ
(⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀|
|⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノ
ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／
⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀my gf telling the waitress
⠀＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀my food is wrong
/⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ
(⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀|
|⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノ
ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／
⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ (•ㅅ•) me
KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena
twitchquotes:KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp
KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp