[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
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I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

ANY LOSERS? v2

: ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡔⠙⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠅⠈⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡌⠄⢰⠉⢙⢗⣲⡖⡋⢐⡺⡄⠈⢆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡜⠄⢀⠆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⢣⢿⡱⡀⠈⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠧⠤⠂⠄⣼⢧⢻⣿⣿⣞⢸⣮⠳⣕⢤⡆⠄⠄ ⢺⣿⣿⣶⣦⡇⡌⣰⣍⠚⢿⠄⢩⣧⠉⢷⡇⠄⠄ ⠘⣿⣿⣯⡙⣧⢎⢨⣶⣶⣶⣶⢸⣼⡻⡎⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠎⡮⡙⠶⠟⣫⣶⠛⠧⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣏⢾⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡼⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡝⣿⣿⣿⠷⢀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠇⠿⠋⠄⠄⢘⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⢼⡀⠄⢀⣀⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣉⠉⠉⠄⢀⠈⠉⢏⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠄⠄⡘⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⡙⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⢠⣿⢸⣿⡀ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣝⠿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⢍⣼⣿⠇ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠠⡊⠴⠋⠹⡜⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣤⣾⣿⣿⣧⠹⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⢸⠛⠿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠹⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠊⢹⠒⠤⢤⡜⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2020

NSFW

Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Idk what it is with you guys but you keep upvoting anything with the word cum sex or dick in it

Idk what it is with you guys but you keep upvoting anything with the word cum sex or dick in it. I came here for subtle wall of texts where you couldn’t tell if it was real or fake. Now these 10k upvoted cumshit copypastas are just upvoted, never pasted. You don’t actually see any of them in the wild it’s a truly sad state. See for yourself sort by top this year and it’s all sex like fr is it that funny?
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing