[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son πŸ‘¦πŸ» can be homer sexual πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ My daughter πŸ‘§πŸ» can be lebanese πŸ‘­ But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child πŸ‘ΆπŸ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul πŸ™…πŸ»β€
twitch chat
August 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

The ogrelord. Shrek.

November 2014

Shrek

Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

A single Dongerbill can save a life

twitchquotes: Hello, I'm Sarah McLanchdong. Every day millions of poor, helpless dongers go unraised everyday. Dongers that are abused and negated, like this poor fellow ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ Ω„ΝŸΰΊˆ ΰΌ½. For just one Dongerbill [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²] a day we can help save these forgotten dongers (β—‰_☒) ΰΌΌ ͝°ʖಠ ΰΌ½ ( Ν‘Β°Ω„Νœ ΒΊ) from a life time of being lowered. Your there only hope, because just a minute of your time and a single Dongerbill [Μ²$Μ²(Μ² Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°Μ²)Μ²$Μ²] can save a life.
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

Can you stack these cans

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple hey matey can you stack this can jus likeme :) DrinkPurple try like me! try like me! heres another can. : ) DrinkPurple try like me to stack this cans can you can you ?? :) DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ for ME
twitch chat
March 2019

Surprised face

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆ β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β– β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β– β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ
March 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing