[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
August 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino

twitchquotes: Hi chat i comerino from amsterdamerino i solderino my weederino to the 420 lord to pay internet connection to play legenderino leaguerino. Plzerino notice me i playerin with 420 pingerino but im challenger 420 and i always end with 4/2/0 plz help me smokerino more weederino no copy pasterino
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

The emergency surgery of Sandeep was a critical failure

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS:Tʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴇʀɢᴇɴᴄʏ sᴜʀɢᴇʀʏ ᴏғ Sᴀɴᴅᴇᴇᴘ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ғᴀɪʟᴜʀᴇ! Exᴘᴇʀᴛs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟs ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴀᴄᴜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀᴇᴀ ᴀs ᴀ sᴛᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɴᴀʟ-sᴇᴡᴀɢᴇ ɪs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴇʀᴜᴘᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴛᴜᴍ ᴏғ Sᴀɴᴅᴇᴇᴘ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hardcare games like Minesweeper

twitchquotes: Kripp we are all very disappointed in you. Playing games because Blizzard will pay you? What are you? A shill now? Remember when you played hardcore games like Hearthstone, Minesweeper, or Diablo 3? Everything changed when you got a girlfriend. I'm starting to wonder if you even drink OJ anymore.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Message Dongered

twitchquotes: <ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

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