[Copypasta] No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Imagine complaining about aim assist

twitchquotes: Imagine complaining about aim assist when u have a WHOLE mouse and a WHOLE table and a WHOLE hand to move around to track a player , meanwhile controller players use A THUMB and ARE LIMITED TO MOVING , We can’t move our little analog stick ALL AROUND THE TABLE , complaining BOTS.
twitch chat
February 2019

Fortnite

Yer in proper mess ya nob head

twitchquotes: ᴜ ᴡᴏᴛ ᴍ8? ɪ sᴡᴇʀ ᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜᴇᴇᴋʏ ᴄᴜɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴇ, sᴀʏ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs. ɪ sᴡᴇʀ 2 ᴄʜʀɪsᴛ I'ʟʟ ʜᴏᴏᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʙʙᴀ. ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ sʜᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ ᴏʀ ɪᴍ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇʙᴏʏs ʀɪᴛᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ. ᴛʜᴀ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀɴ sᴏʀᴇ ᴊᴜs ʜᴇᴀʀɪɴ ʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. ʏᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀ ᴍᴇss ʏᴀ ɴᴏʙ ʜᴇᴀᴅ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

We are not the same (Amogus edition)

We are not the same For instance You say kid 👦 we say mini-crewmate You say earth 🌎 we say Mira-hq You say suspicious🥷, we say sussy bakas You say “he was murdered so I called the police”, we say “EMERGENCY MEETING” You say “the joke is dead” we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing