[Copypasta] No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

HassanChop

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April 2018

Empirre is a terrible streamer

twitchquotes: Empirre is a terrible streamer and should be banned from twitch and this subreddit. Stop calling him australian xqc, you can't compare anything or anyone to this man. He makes hitler look good. On top of all of this, Empirrre broke into my house, killed my wife and daughter, stole all my life savings and burned the place down while I was at work. I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore, he's taken everything from me. Love his streams tho keep it up empiL
twitch chat
July 2020
Empirrre

Greetings Michael, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Greeting Michael, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Pobelter boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see...
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Momo 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣰⣿⡋⡴⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡖⣄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⣴⡿⡃⡜⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠸⢠⠸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⢠⡿⡝⡌⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⡆⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡏⣸⣷⣳⣹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡡⠦⣄⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣶⣶⣦⡌⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠊⠄⢸⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠒⠚⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⢿⣿⣹⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⡶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⣾⣿⡕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡅⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠘⢯⣍⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing