[Copypasta] No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018
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Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer

twitchquotes: ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส” Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, had a very Salty Nose. All of the other Streamers laughed and used to call him names. BibleThump Then one salty Krippmas Eve, Forsen came to say, "Reynad with your salt so bright, won't you topdeck my sleigh tonight?" Then all Streamers loved him as they jerked off with glee, Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, you'll go down in history! ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส”
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

salty

Frog of Ice

twitchquotes: ๏ผก๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ„๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ™๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ผŒ ๏ฝ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ— ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ผฐ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ‚๏ผŒ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ” ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ†๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ผŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ— ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ผŒ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ผŽ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ“๏ฝ‰๏ฝ๏ฝˆ๏ผŒ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ— ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝŽ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผด๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ‚๏ผ‡๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ” ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ•๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ’๏ฝ•๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‹๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„๏ฝ‡๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ…๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ—๏ฝ“๏ผŽ
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Pepe / Feels Bad Man

__________โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ_____โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ _________โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ ________โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ _______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ ______โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ _____โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ ____โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ ____โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ ___โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ __โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ _โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ___โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ___โ–ˆ _โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ______โ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ__โ–ˆ_____โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆ___โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ___โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ____โ–ˆโ–ˆ_โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ
October 2016

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing