[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
twitch chat
September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Dont mind me just turning it to gold

twitchquotes: GivePLZ TBCheesePull Kappa TBCheesePull TakeNRG Dont mind me just turning it to gold
twitch chat
April 2017

What could possibly be that washed up?

twitchquotes: Hey QT, my family just got back from Hawaii. We noticed this obese life form washed up on shore. We walked over to see what could possibly be that washed up. My brother poked it with a stick and it twitched and said "wow that actually fuckin killed me" wonder what it could be?
twitch chat
June 2019
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Try being nicer when you say that Calvin

twitchquotes: Try being nicer when you say that Calvin so it comes across as constructive and less toxic that way you won't hurt anyone's feelings and everyone will be happy :)
twitch chat
October 2018
aimbotcalvin

Overwatch

Trollge face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⠛⠛⠛⠟⠻⠛⡻⠿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⢀⠠⠖⠚⠒⠒⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣫⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⣐⣤⣴⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡐⠬⣿⢷⠀⠐⢹⡿⠛⠛⣛⣛⣓⣛⡓⣶⣄⠀⣦⠈⠂⠎⢻⣧⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠿⠵⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣳⡵⠀⠂⢴⣿⣿⣷⡿⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣄⣀⣼⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠻⢻⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣰⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⡈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⡇⢀⣶⠋⣥⢶⣿⣈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⢿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⡙⣷⡀ ⣷⣾⠁⡼⢡⣿⠛⣡⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⠛⣷⠀⢳⢘⣷ ⣿⣿⠀⠇⢸⣏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡀⢸⢰⣿ ⣿⢿⣧⠘⣾⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡀⠈⠿⣷⣾⣷⣶⣤⣭⣂⣼⠿⣷⣬⡟⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣰⠂⣾⣾⡿ ⡇⠀⠿⣷⡈⠻⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡷⠈⢻⠛⠿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣄⣈⣉⣠⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⡟⠻⠙⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⠁⣼⠃⣼⣿⠟⠁ ⠃⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠹⠏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣧⣰⠀⡀⠛⠃⠊⠹⡟⠋⠛⣿⠿⠛⠛⡏⠉⠋⡇⠀⣀⠇⢰⣇⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠎⣸⡿⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣸⠀⡇⢠⠀⣼⣠⣀⠀⡇⠀⡀⣄⣰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⡞⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⢿⡙⠻⣿⡇⢀⠇⣥⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣆⣉⠁⠀⢋⠋⠀⡋⢹⡟⠉⢻⠋⠉⡏⠏⠀⢨⡀⠀⠀⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢸⡇⠙⠳⣌⠻⣿⣿⣆⠐⣼⣆⢠⠀⢻⣄⠀⢸⡂⠀⠂⡄⠀⢸⣷⣼⣶⣿⣿⠟⣻⣯⠁⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡦⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠙⣷⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣄⡂⣸⣇⣀⢰⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⠿⢋⣱⣾⣿⣇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⢨⣿⠀⣀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣙⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⠋⠅⠀⠀⣇⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⣠⡟⣣⣠⣍⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣂⠀⠀⢙⣧⡐⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
March 2021

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
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