[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
twitch chat
September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

Minecraft good. Fortnite bad.

Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic. "This thing on?" Murmurs of assent. Clears throat again. "Minecraft good." The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath. "Fortnite..." A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held. "Bad." Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, demanding awards, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
December 2021

Fortnite

Minecraft

Baconator Jr. really has my boyhood trembling

twitchquotes: Christ Almighty, the Baconator Jr. really has my boyhood trembling. The crisp, Smokey bacon atop that seductive, square beef patty. What is there not to adore? And not to mention the smooth, melted cheese, and paired with fries and a frosty, you’ll be soaking through your chef’s apron in no time. Truly a masterpiece. A steamy, moist, delicious masterpiece.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Clap

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⡠⠞⠛⢦⣠⢤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢱⡀⣸⠁⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠋⠉⢿⢀⡤⠶⣴⠇⣯⠀⣼⠁⠀⢀⡴⠷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣀⡾⠋⠀⠀⢹⣼⠁⢠⡇⠀⡴⠋⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠑⢦⠀⡴⠋⢀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠧⣄⡾⠁⡼⠁⣀⣤⠾⡁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣨⠟⠁⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⣿⠃⣰⠃⣴⠋⠀⠀⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢠⠞⠁⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠁⠀⢀⣠⡴⠿⣶⡇⢰⠇⠀⠀⢠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⢿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⡴⠚⠉⠁⠀⢀⡟⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡾⣼⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠙⢼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⠉⡎⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡼⠉⠀⠀⠀⠘⠂⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⣰⠃⠀⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠁⡏⢠⠃⢀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠀⠃⡎⢀⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⣀⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡴⢺⠇⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢳⡀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠳⣄⠀⠙⠲⣤⣀⣠⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⣄⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
September 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing