[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." 🎶🎵I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎵🎶
twitch chat
September 2018
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More Copypastas

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I woke up aroused

twitchquotes: Just because... I had a dream of being pounded in the ass, and I was aroused when I woke up, doesn't make me gay. It was fuckin' hot, ok? A big ass 6 foot 5 WEREWOLF lookin' guy with huge muscles bear-hugged me, HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH, and I was just, face against the glass OOO smack OOO smack UUHH smack OOO smack OOK smack OOO, and I woke up aroused. That doesn't make me gay. I don't think it's GAY to wake up aroused. I-I think that it was just hot. It was fucking hot
twitch chat
June 2019

KappaPride

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021

I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: ❓ Maybe I’ll be Tracer 😛💨🕰️ ❗ I’m already Tracer 🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 ❔ What about Widowmaker 💜🕷️ ❕ I’m already Widowmaker 🕸️ 👌🏿💯I’ll be Bastion 🤖 🚫 N͘͞E͞͠R̷͘F͟ ͞͠BAS̢͞Ţ͢IO̢N͟҉҉ ⚰️ 🤷 You’re right; so, Winston 🐵👍🏿 🍌 I wanna be Winston 🦍 🗡️ I guess I’ll be Genji 🐱‍👤 😏 I’m already Genji 👤 💀 Then I’ll be McCree 🤠👌 🔫 I already chose McCree 🕛☠️ ✋ I have an idea 🙋 ❓ What’s your idea? 🤔 🙌 You should be— 😇🦶 🙅 I’m not gonna be Mercy ‼️✨
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

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