[Copypasta] I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!

twitchquotes: DansGame "I can't go to Yemen, I'm an analyst!" KevinTurtle "Get on the plane." 🎢🎡I'm only human after all don't put. your blame on me🎡🎢
twitch chat
September 2018
With the launch of Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime, the show's commercial was playing all over Twitch.
I used to be a real ad
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I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

Donald Trump vs Biden

Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency. Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign. Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals πŸ˜πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
January 2021

2020 US Election

SUS

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
ascii art
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

John Xina needs your credit card info

🚨🚨CALLING ALL TENCENT GAMERS🚨🚨 JOHN XINA πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ¦LOST HIS SOCIAL CREDIT 🀯 🀭AND NEEDS YOUR HELP TO GET IT BACK πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ ALL HE NEEDS IS THE 1️⃣2️⃣ DIGITS ON YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT CARD πŸ’³ ALONG WITH THE EXPIRATION DATE πŸ“… AND THOSE 3️⃣ WACKY DIGITS ON THE BACK πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³πŸ¦
November 2021

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

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