[Copypasta] Think about your actions

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although this subreddit has 179,776 readers, I am not receiving 179,776 upvotes on my posts. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'upvote'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to upvote my most recent posts. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I donโ€™t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itโ€™s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iโ€™ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iโ€™ll walk around my house and pick up various different โ€œtrinketsโ€ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like โ€œIโ€™ll be having thatโ€ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (โ€œtrinketsโ€ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iโ€™m 99% sure they donโ€™t know itโ€™s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ”ŠTHIS IS A ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐ŸธALERT. INCOMING ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEME๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ŒHEADING STRAIGHT ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€YOUR WAY. ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐Ÿšง๐Ÿšง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐Ÿธ ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹ .BUCKLE UPโ™ฟโ™ฟโ™ฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ“ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฌ๐ŸšฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

GME to the moon

.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜€๏ธif we holdใ€€ใ€€. ,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆ โœฆ ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šโ€Š๐Ÿš€ gme ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* ใ€€ใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ๐ŸŒ‘ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ ๐ŸŒŽ โ€ โ€ if we sell โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ,ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing