[Copypasta] Never buy a keyboard off a chinese bidding website

twitchquotes: ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶰᵉˢᵉ ᵇᶦᵈᵈᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵉᵇˢᶦᵗᵉ
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

mizkifThumbsUp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⡟⠁⠄⠈⢻⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠋⠉⠻⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢠⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣩⡍⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⠻⠮⠭⠭⠭⢭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣭⣭⠶⠿⠛⣽⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢱⡀⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣭⣥⣭⣤⣼⣿⡇⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⢞⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣛⣛⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡙⠻⢿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣀⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣙⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀
November 2021
Mizkif

Sodium is named NA in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America

twitchquotes: Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Humphry Davy in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

Classic

salty

EU vs NA

Ben Shapiro ordering pizza

Hello, is this Pizza Hut? Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not. Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah. Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet. Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you. Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style. And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
August 2021

Ben Shapiro

deIlluminati

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠭⠽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠗⠒⠓⠾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠚⠋⠁⠓⠲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⡈⣘⢉⢁⣈⠑⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣽⢞⣂⣁⣀⡄⣭⣉⡑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣭⣿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣌⣉⡚⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡯⠋⠍⠀⠈⡉⠊⢉⡽⢛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⡾⣟⠲⠛⠆⠈⠉⠉⠩⢿⣧⣔⣺⣼⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⢿⢁⣉⣤⣤⣶⣦⣴⣤⣴⣰⣽⡿⣞⣭⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⣱⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣻⣿⣟⣿⣟⡷⣟⢾⣷⣯⣗⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡷⣿⣿⡿⣙⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⢱⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⣭⣙⠌⠩⠓⠃⠡⠙⠻⠿⠿⠽⠛⢁⠁⢚⣿⣾⣷⠿⡛⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⠲⡌⠣⠌⣁⠂⠠⠀⠂⠀⠤⢤⢤⢐⡒⠽⣋⣋⠮⠥⡒⢏⣛⣩⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡽⣯⣉⡳⠀⠄⠌⣄⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣊⡭⠵⠖⠒⢪⣍⣙⣦⣤⡽⢧⠀ ⣰⣟⡷⡆⠽⣃⢉⡐⣂⠄⣁⠐⠀⢂⢐⢀⠓⡐⢒⡚⣇⢉⣫⠡⠭⢲⡾⣛⣾⡆
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing