[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!————————————————————————
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Shitting Toothpaste Amogus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢰⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡀⠹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠃⣀⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⡟⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠐⠋⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠐⣶⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⣠⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡟⠁⢰⡟⠀⠾⠿⠛⠀⠀⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠘⠀⠾⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⡶⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣉⠉⠁⢠⠀⠐⠀⠌⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⣈⣉⣁⣀⣄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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