[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Arena wins and donger size

twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Mad Bomber Diary

twitchquotes: Mad Bomber Diary 11/11/14: Dear Diary, Kripp has played me 200th time today, he always keeps me for his greediest plays like I'm one of his prosterinos. I shall take this torment no more, I demand that he coins me out on an empty board like an honest minion from now on. Pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Reddit Snoo sucking

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈⣄⣠⠶⠋⠁⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⡀⢀⡠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠒⠒⢂⡄⠤⠀⠀⠐⠧⠀⡀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠁⠢⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⠃⢀⣀⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠠⠈⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠐⠊⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⡖⠂⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢎⢀⣠⣿⣿⠟⠉⠠⢀⠀⡠⠀⢀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢄⠀⠀⠀⠑⠅⠀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠑⠀⠄⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
January 2022

Reddit

NSFW

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing