[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
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Doggies can be vegan too

twitchquotes: I am a dog being raised by a very loving family. Or at least I was, until a balding romanian gypsy kidnapped me from my home. Now he doesn't let me go outside and doesn't feed me. Every time I try to tell him I am hungry he puts green leaves in my bowl and says doggies can be vegan too if they try hard enough. I believe this man is mentally disabled. Please send help. OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

I will become the Fiora master

twitchquotes: As the pain of hunger overtook the people of Africa they began to feel hope. "I will become the Fiora master!" said Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana. The people of Africa cheered.
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Where me your CTRL+V

twitchquotes: whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo whisper me your CTRL+V no cheating VoHiYo
twitch chat
February 2016
strifecro

Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020
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