[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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When a streamer complains it's seen as letting some steam out...

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴs ɪᴛ's sᴇᴇɴ ᴀs ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ. Bᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛʀᴀᴘs ᴀ 30150-ALQAIDA ʙᴏᴍʙᴠᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ 15 ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴏɴ ʀᴀᴅɪᴜs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ HᴇᴀᴅQᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀ Pʏʀᴏʙʟᴀsᴛ... ʜᴇ's ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴀʟᴛʏ?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

PepegaPirate

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠐⢦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠖⠁⢀⣾⣆⡰⠶⡷⠶⣀⣾⣄⠄⠈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡄⠄⠠⢤⣤⠔⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⣤⢣⣤⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠣⢤⡠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡟⠻⣿⣿⡿⠻⡟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠞ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠊⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠢⣤⣤⣴⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣆⢒⣤⣤⠄⢠⠤⠤⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢻⣿⠁⡀⣿⡎⣿⣿⣀⣃⠧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡹⡼⢿⣠⠵⠿⣑⢿⣟⣛⠤⣩⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⢏⡜⡻⣷⡽⣿⣷⣭⣿⣮⣽⣯⣽⣿⣿⣷⣤⣾⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣌⢷⣙⠾⠯⣒⡿⠭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠭⠭⠟⢣⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣮⣟⠷⣦⣤⣝⣛⠲⠶⠶⠒⢂⣀⠠⠄⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠿⢿⣿⡷⠶⠭⠭⠭⠵⠶⠒⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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June 2021

Pepe

xqcLook emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠖⠉⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⠇⠀⢰⣿⣿⣍⣀⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡄⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⢁⣄⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣡⣦⣶⣄⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠻⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⡉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀
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April 2021
xQcOW

The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound

twitchquotes: Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
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