[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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A baby to listen to every night

twitchquotes: I sleep with your stream on every night. I used to be married, you know? She left because she can't stand your voice. I chose you. I'll always choose you, because if I can't have kids with the love of my life, at least I'll have a baby to listen to every night. BabyRage
twitch chat
May 2020

monkaHmm

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣩⣵⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣅⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄ ⣠⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣫⣭⠉⠍⠉⣛⠿⡘⣿⠿⢟⣛⡛⠉⠙⠻⢿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣍⠄⣡⣬⣭⣭⣅⣈⣀⣉⣁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣩⣵⣾⣿⣿⣯⣙⠟⣋⣉⣩⣍⡁⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢼⣿⣯⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠷⠶⢶⣬⣭⣭⣭⡭⠭⢉⡄⠶⠾⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⡻⠿⠷⠶⢶⣶⠞⣼⡟⡸⣸⡸⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⡆⣾⠟⡴⣱⢏⡜⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣙⡒⠦⠭⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⡋⣶⡜⣟⣸⣠⡿⣸⠇⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⡆⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣸⠉⣷⠄⠄
ascii art
June 2020

Pepe

Extreme Sodium Saltstorm 9000

twitchquotes: ☐ sᴀʟᴛ ☐ ᴠᴇʀʏ sᴀʟᴛ ☐ ᴘᴊsᴀʟᴛ ☐ ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇ sᴏᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴀʟᴛsᴛᴏʀᴍ 9000 ☑ ʀᴇʏɴᴀᴅ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022

The legend of the button

twitchquotes: The legend of the button grew as the potential dust reward that came with it increased. But in the end when the no life Kripparian who had long sold out pressed it, the playful sprites robbed him of his joy and crashed his client. Kripp fell to his knees and in a solemn proclamation said "Never Lucky".
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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