[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
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More Copypastas

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 2

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€ โ–โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘
October 2016

Weebs

Please play AD Sion

twitchquotes: แดษชsแด›แด‡ส€ sแด€ษดแด›แด€ษดแด€, ษช แด€แด ษดแดแด› แด˜แด€สษชษดษข แด€แด…ส™สŸแดแด„แด‹ า“ษชแด แด‡ แด…แดสŸสŸแด€ส€s แด€ แดแดษดแด›สœ ษชษด แด แดสŸแดœษดแด›แด€ส€ส แด„แดษดแด›ส€ษชส™แดœแด›ษชแดษดs แด›แด แดกแด€แด›แด„สœ สแดแดœ ษดแดแด› แด˜สŸแด€ส แด€แด… sษชแดษด. ษดแดแดก สŸแด‡แด›'s sแด‡แด‡ sแดแดแด‡ แดา“ แด›สœแด€แด› ษขแดแดแด… sสœษชแด› แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ ษช แดษชษขสœแด› สœแด€แด แด‡ แด›แด แด„สŸษชแด„แด‹ แด›สœแด‡ sแดœส™sแด„ส€ษชส™แด‡ ส™แดœแด›แด›แดษด.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018

Hey Reynad, this is a mean spirited comment

twitchquotes: @Reynad27, hey reynad this is a mean spirited comment with the sole purpose to offend you. Please destroy me with a hilarious comeback at your earliest convenience.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad
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