[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripps anguish in his expression is palpable

twitchquotes: Kripps anguish in his expression is palpable, his gray eyes burning. 'im going to CHUGGA,' he murmurs, his voice full of longing. I brace my self for his cold hard thrust. his ice lance pierces. As he presses closer, my breathing quickens. He has lethal, my body explodes.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS

twitchquotes: Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Creepy Spongebob

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ┈┈╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ â”ˆâ•±â•­â–â•źâ•­â”»â”»â•źâ•­â”»â”»â•źâ•­â–â „â „â „â „â „ ▕╼╰▏╯┃╭╼┃┃╭╼┃╰▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ â–•â•Żâ”ˆâ–â”ˆâ”—â”»â”»â”›â”—â”»â”»â”»â•źâ–â „â „â „â „â „ ▕╭╼▏╼┈┈┈┈┏━━━╯▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ▕╰╯▏╯╰┳┳┳┳┳┳╯╭▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ▕┈╭▏╭╼┃┗┛┗┛┃┈╰▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ▕┈╰▏╰╯╰━━━━╯┈┈▏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
December 2019

Bring us the Forsen here and now

twitchquotes: àŒŒ Âșل͟Âș àŒœ Magic forces black and white. Reaching out through space and light. A perfect man I summon now. Bring him now into the light. Be he far or be he near. Bring us the Forsen here and now. àŒŒ Âșل͟Âș àŒœ
twitch chat
August 2015
Forsen

Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito

twitchquotes: The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. KappaPride
twitch chat
December 2016
Fate_Twisted_NA

League of Legends

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