[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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SPAM THESE BOATS IF YOU'RE SICK OF GOATS

twitchquotes: SPAM β›΅ THESE β›΅ BOATS β›΅ IF β›΅ YOU’RE β›΅ SICK β›΅ OF β›΅ GOATS β›΅
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Stop making fun of NA

twitchquotes: Stop making fun of NA, we are the second best wildcard this year and it took these players work and dedication to stand next to real teams from real regions. This is a step closer for NA to be recognized as the best wildcard region.
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May 2019
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So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

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Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
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February 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing