[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
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I've always been a DC fan

twitchquotes: (sponsored spam) I've always been a DC fan (I guess you could say Fanboy LOL) but after watching Kripparrian play Marvel Future Fight, I gotta say, I'm HOOKED! Featuring iconic characters like Black Panther and Thanos, I gotta say, I'm pretty damn interested in this game. Thank you Kripparrian!
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June 2017
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twitchquotes: if my girl👧😍and fidget spinner߷ both dying😱and I can only save one 😤😬catch me at her funeral 😔👻🌹spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎
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Torture dance 1

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣶⣾⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡶⣶⡿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣌⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⢿⢖⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

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This is the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Vegan Police. We have reason to suspect the food you just ate was not entirely Vegan. Please prepare a stool sample promptly. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing