[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I fucking hate the word poggers

I fucking hate the word poggers. It's not funny, it's not quirky, it's stupid. It's just an Asian man going gasp!. It is not funny and I do not enjoy looking at it. Whenever someone says poggers out loud I'm just like "I get it you use fucking twitch.
December 2020

GIDDY UP SEXMAS

December 2023

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

ME NAIR ME NO CARE

twitchquotes: ME IKE ResidentSleeper ME NAIR ResidentSleeper YOU WANT FUN ResidentSleeper ME NO CARE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Iโ€™ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, Iโ€™ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. Itโ€™s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out โ€œOscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkinsโ€ each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says itโ€™s completely normal, but heโ€™s gay, so I canโ€™t trust him.
May 2021

Here's an "extended maintenance" for you

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey Blizzard, here's an "extended maintenance" for you ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing