[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ .β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum

twitchquotes: Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

This is an absolutely worthless comment

This is an absolutely worthless comment, and yet it has been upvoted. You have contributed absolutely nothing to any semblance of discussion, and your one word comment at the top has taken away from the others who have commented real things below you. I would kindly suggest that you delete your comment and let the others shine
May 2022

Reddit

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

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