[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019

3Head emote v2

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September 2021

Feminist deck

twitchquotes: Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing