[Copypasta] Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"

Excuse me sir or ma'am but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?" Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet." And here you are! I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other. I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat). Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess! EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said? EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore EDIT 6: hey are you there?
September 2021

Simps

FeelsOkayMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣥⣴⣶⣶⣶⣬⣙⠻⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⠿⢷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠷⠥⠱⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠮⠤⣌⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⢛⡁⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⡫⢕⣪⡭⠥⢭⣭⣉⡂⣉⡒⣤⡭⡉⠩⣥⣰⠂⠹ ⡟⢠⣿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣏⣛⢲⣾⣿⠃⠄⠐⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠁⠃⢸⣿⣿⡧ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣊⠙⠳⠤⠤⠾⣟⠛⠍⣹⣛⣛⣢⣀⣠⣛⡯⢉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⢒⣠⣼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠛⢛⣛⠉⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡻⢷⣍⣛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢇⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⠻⠶⣬⣍⣛⣛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠤⠬⠭⠤⠶⠶⠞⠛⣡⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣍⣙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⣠⣿⣿ ⣦⣈⠉⢛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⣁⣒⣒⣒⠂⠠⠬⠭⠭⠭⢀⣀⣠⣄⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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December 2021

Bible Passages

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie, don't get my wrong buddy I love all of these funny meme games during queue but I have a new idea. I would love us all to read some bible passages during queue times! Thanks and god bless!
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love

twitchquotes: (◕‿X✿) Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love. Y'arr be beautiful inside and out, and ye best know that ye matter so much and everythin' ya do plunders my booty in an amazin' way YARHARHAR. (◕‿X✿)
twitch chat
May 2019
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