[Copypasta] Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, its me, the lamp behind you. Do you remember when you used to turn me on all the time? Now that you're a big time gaming memester, I get as much use as the surfboard and your guitar. I miss you and I hope you use my 29 watts soon
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.
January 2022

Lenny face centipede

β•šβ•( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ .β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ ..β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ β€¦β•šβ•(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)═╝ …..β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ β€¦β€¦β•š(β–ˆβ–ˆ)╝ ………(β–ˆ) ……….*
ascii art
December 2020

Germany scores on Brazil

twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) Every 60 seconds in Brazil, Germany scores a goal. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing