[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. β€œThat’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. β€œBut as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Stuck in Kripp's basement

twitchquotes: |Μ…|(Μ…|Μ…β—‰Μ…|Μ…β—‘Μ…|Μ…β—”Μ…|Μ…)Μ…| HELP I'M STUCK IN KRIPP'S BASEMENT |Μ…|(Μ…|Μ…β—‰Μ…|Μ…β—‘Μ…|Μ…β—”Μ…|Μ…)Μ…|
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp if you don't play a lonely island song next...

twitchquotes: Kripp, if you don't play a lonely island song in the next 5 minutes i will go to your house, pet your cat, eat your pizza, drink your oj, spill your salt and copy your pasta, plz no copy pasterino lonerino islanderino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Le budget Toucan has arrived

twitchquotes: <(Β°) Le budget Toucan has arrived
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Scary face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘(◐)β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’(◐)β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing