[Copypasta] For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called ā€œTalking Roby The Robotā€, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words ā€œsing like dickā€. The robot said ā€œsing like dickā€. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnā€™t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said ā€œsing like dickā€. I was crying in fear, ā€œis this a nightmare?ā€ I asked. Roby said ā€œnoā€. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: ā€œ666ā€. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donā€™t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investorā€™s head. Thereā€™s also Sitoshisā€™s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnā€™t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshiā€™s brilliant programming method - the ā€œBlockchain,ā€ which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. Iā€™m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. šŸ˜‚ And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Itā€™s for the ladiesā€™ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyā€™re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid šŸ˜Ž
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019

My friend Kappa needs your help

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Keepo and I want to ask you something. My friend Kappa needs your help. He wants to find some more Kappa friends. So please, spam Kappa as much as possible in the chat, so that my friend Kappa could find more of his Kappa friends. It makes a big difference, thank you!
twitch chat
August 2014
Pokimane

SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad

twitchquotes: SMOrc me chat SMOrc goats bad SMOrc c9 SMOrc gift pass
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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Text-to-Speech Playing