twitchquotes:
Now little Jimmy what do you do if someone bullies you? "I-Ignore them?" Little Jimmy says. "NO!" His parent screams. The parent leans into his ear and whispers "Delete them..."
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
I miss Julio the donkey
twitchquotes:
Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
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Kripp
Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens
twitchquotes:
Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
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Kripp
Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks
twitchquotes:
Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks. Thus, you invented my deck even if you never saw my deck.
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Reynad
Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority
twitchquotes:
Dear 👋 Twitch Partners 🤝 , Our 
community members 👪 are always ☑️ our priority 🛑. We received 📥 some reports ❗ describing ⌨️ the discomfort ☹️ some of our members 🗣️ felt after a Twitch Rivals 🤼 participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," 😶 both emotes are often ⏲️ used in toxic 💀 contexts. Please 🙏 refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead 👍. Best regards 👋, Twitch Team 💌
community members 👪 are always ☑️ our priority 🛑. We received 📥 some reports ❗ describing ⌨️ the discomfort ☹️ some of our members 🗣️ felt after a Twitch Rivals 🤼 participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," 😶 both emotes are often ⏲️ used in toxic 💀 contexts. Please 🙏 refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead 👍. Best regards 👋, Twitch Team 💌
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