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i’m an UwU in the streets but an OwO in the sheets
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
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What is inside that taco? Oh no it's Kripp's arena run
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WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 
0-3 OH NO IT'S KRIPP'S ARENA RUN 
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 0-3 OH NO IT'S KRIPP'S ARENA RUN
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Kripp
Hearthstone
KFC v2
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⢉⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⠀⠁⠀⠄⠀⠄⠀⠌⠉⠛
⣟⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀⠐⠀
⡟⠀⠀⠀⠒⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠈⢀⠈⠀⠄
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠖⢁⣠⣶⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣾⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀
⠀⣀⣰⣾⡿⠁⢠⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣷⡿⣟⣿⣷⣷⠹⣿⡆⠀⠀⡀⠁
⠘⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⡾⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⡿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣾⡀⠸⣯⠀⠀⠀⠄
⠀⣺⡿⠀⠀⢨⣟⣿⣽⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣽⣿⣽⣿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡆⠈⠀⠀⠂⠀
⠀⢺⡯⠀⠀⣼⢾⢻⠿⠻⠿⠽⣷⣿⣯⣿⠿⠚⠛⠙⠉⢈⣀⠠⠌⣀⠀⡀⠀⢀⠁
⠀⠈⠟⢀⣀⢈⣀⠄⢀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠉⣉⣌⠀⢀⠀⠊⢑⣒⠈⠀⣸⣿⡀⣿⡀⠀⡀
⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⠈⠁⠂⣩⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⣾⣿⣦⣼⣿⣾⣿⢿⡾⢀⣿⣟⣿⡯⠂⠀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣷⣿⣟⣿⡯⢿⢾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣻⣿⠃⠀⢀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣤⡿⣿⡾⠂⠰⡅⠓⡿⣿⡻⠃⣄⠈⠚⣽⣾⡿⣟⠛⠀⠀⠄⠀
⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠐⠈⣿
⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡦⠀⠐⠟⠋⠉⠉⣁⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡧⠀⠐⠀⢼⣿
⠀⠁⡀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣉⣥⣤⣦⣶⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠒⠛⠛
⠀⠄⠀⠐⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣮⣄⡦⠀⠀⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿⡛⠀⣄⠀⠈⠀⠂
⠀⠠⠈⠀⠂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠛⠅⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⠷⠋⢀⣰⣿⡆⠠⣄⠀
⠀⠄⠂⠐⠀⠁⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡇⢸⡾⡀
⠀⠠⠐⠀⠂⠁⠀⠀⠸⣾⣗⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⠏⠀⠤⠚⠛⣿⣿⣿⡃⣸⣿⠆
⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⢿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⢧
⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠨⣿⢦⠈⢿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⢢⣀⠐⢶⣽⣿⠏⣾⣿⣿⣯
⣿⡳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣯⣷⡈⢻⣿⣿⡏⣴⡟⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷
⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣦⣙⣿⣿⣻⠁⠀⣲⠀⠀⠹⠿⠟⠟⠛⠋⠋⢉⣉⡉
⡇⠀⠀⠄⠂⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠋⠉⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⡀⠄⢹⣿⠀⠌⣿⡇
⣷⣄⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠄⠂⠐⠈⢀⠠⠀⢀⠠⢸⣿⡅⠀⢿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢀⠠⠀⠂⠁⠀⡀⠀⠄⠂⢀⠐⠀⠂⠀⡀⠄⢀⠀⠨⣿⣇⠀⢘⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣐⠈⠀⡀⠄⠀⠂⢀⠠⠐⠀⠁⢀⠀⡀⠄⠂⣿⣷⡀⠄⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣤⣤⣥⣀⣄⣀⣂⣈⣀⣠⣠⣤⣤⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿
in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl
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in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwänze in der hölle" it means your smile brightens my day 
Please no copy pasta
Please no copy pasta
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Own a musket for home defense
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Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
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