[Copypasta] i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures

twitchquotes: sorry bud, i don’t have time to be in a little fictional world like you do. i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures a year and live in a house with 4 bathrooms....and that’s not even including my investments....
twitch chat
April 2019
Guy on Twitter doesn't understand esports players and posts this tweet in response to a user trying to teach him about esports: https://twitter.com/JTP236/status/1109552379572047872
I used to be a real ad
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GET BACK TO WORK Kripp shouts

twitchquotes: GET BACK TO WORK Kripp shouts into his bedroom closet! None of you get any lettuce until you read every Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube comment and respond to my viewers USELESS DRIVEL. 4 small chinese boys look up with tears in their eyes then get back to work. Your YouTube comment suddenly gets a heart.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher

twitchquotes: Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher. I am very disappoint in your German speaking abilities. I request that you repeat zu words: Blauschimmelkäse, Kachelofen, Ziegeneutermilch and Schachspielzug three times a day for the next month.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

I want thank chat for many message, help cover our trail

twitchquotes: Hello pals sorry for bad england. I come on website to speak to girl from village. Is place where she can speak without state see because message move fast. I talk with her once month. Cost twenty fennix money for half hour internet to talk. I want thank chat for many message, help cover our trail. No copy my heartfelt message please
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Only the chosen one can hold this taco

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull TBTacoRight Only the chosen one can hold this taco⎝ OpieOP ⎠
twitch chat
April 2016
Riot Games
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Text-to-Speech Playing