[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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This streamer loves COCK

THIS STREAMER LOVES โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ• โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•
ascii art
February 2021

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Kripp.... how do I say this

twitchquotes: Kripp.... how do I say this. You aren't as good as you used to be, your quality of both decks and play have deteriorated significantly. At this point I think I'm a better player than you which makes me very sad. Your decks have no balance between curve and minion quality, tar creeper?! Really? In zoo! As much as you sell it as one, zoo is not a control deck. At least not a conventional one.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
November 2019
MOONMOON
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