[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Too salty for table salt

twitchquotes: Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Kripp's old channel description

twitchquotes: Did you know Kripp and Krippi are the first to kill Diablo with Hardcore characters on Inferno? Kripparrian’s channel features end game coverage of Hearthstone, Diablo, Warcraft, Guild Wars 2, and other games. All played at the most hardcore and competitive levels possible, live every day!
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some β€œdude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said β€œyou’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask β€œfor what?” He says β€œI just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled β€œYOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Twin Towers

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–“β–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–Œβ–„β–β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–β–“β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–„β–“β–„β–„ β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2018
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