[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Hospitals

twitchquotes: If 700,000 people die in hospitals every year. Why don't we close down these hospitals and prevent those deaths? (恤 Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)恤
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ā€˜Goblin Mode offā€™ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and heā€™s always been great in bed. But recently heā€™s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™. We didnā€™t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heā€™s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iā€™ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heā€™s been a little emotionally unwell. Iā€™ve heard him muttering, ā€˜Goblinā€™ repeatedly when he didnā€™t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iā€™ve ever had, but Iā€™m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isnā€™t the ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™, itā€™s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Reddit and Twitter changed their logos

twitchquotes: My entire life Iā€™ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didnā€™t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now Iā€™m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
June 2020

This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ā˜‘ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!ā€ ā˜‘ ā€œMy rigatoni can't win against a linguini like thatā€ ā˜‘ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ā˜‘ ā€œHe meatballed the only marinara that could beat meā€ ā˜‘ "He had the perfect fettucini ā˜‘ ā€œThere was nothing I could cookā€ ā˜‘ ā€œI cooked that al denteā€
twitch chat
August 2014

Canadaland

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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