[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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LS aka “Last Straw”

twitchquotes: LS aka “Last Straw” is always on the verge of commiting vehicular manslaughter. He has been assigned to multiple psychiatric hospitals, but always manages to escape due to the prison guards “bad pathing”.
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This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill

twitchquotes: This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill. They bring a TFT player onto the analyst desk for a summoner's rift game. He clearly has no idea what's going on. "Scarra" is it? Has anyone heard of this guy?
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August 2019
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WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
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Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
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Annie Bot

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The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

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Text-to-Speech Playing