Bi Godās bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradÅ«Äten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the āInternetā? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spÄking wit minen aspÄ«eris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spÄ«en aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spÄ«tĒus frivÅl thou namest āthine lifā. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed!
Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cĒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pÅ«nÄ«ciĒun thine littel āgleuā glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tĒng stille. But thou cĒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
: mommy! kripp just read my message! 
: who's kripp honey? 
here's a picture of him. 
