[Copypasta] 🇺🇸ATTENTION🇺🇸PLEASE🇺🇸

twitchquotes: 🇺🇸guys🇺🇸if🇺🇸you🇺🇸receive🇺🇸an🇺🇸email🇺🇸saying🇺🇸"naked🇺🇸pictures🇺🇸of🇺🇸Donald🇺🇸Trump"🇺🇸don't🇺🇸open🇺🇸it🇺🇸it🇺🇸is🇺🇸a🇺🇸virus🇺🇸that🇺🇸puts🇺🇸USA🇺🇸flags🇺🇸between🇺🇸everything🇺🇸you🇺🇸type🇺🇸
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The default Fortnite dance is truly a masterpiece

twitchquotes: The default dance is truly a masterpiece. Never, in all of history, has such an artistic masterpiece ever been created. The choreography is possibly the most beautiful sight ever beheld by the human eye. The sharp sound of the SLAP when the player’s hands collide perfectly with the beat of the song sends a bone chilling shiver down my spine, every single time I hear it. I find my self watching my in-game avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual for hours on end.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I think my boss might be a communist

I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
May 2021

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this

I'm leaving this community, jerma can't keep getting away with this After jerma's recent apology video, it seemed like the only thing he cared about before going live was his looks. He came onto stream and honestly seemed slightly drunk. He proceeded to spend time talking about how fun it was to 'woohoo' death. He used another term, but due to me actually caring about the people here, I decided it's better to censor myself. He did briefly apologize for the Amelia situation, but that twitlonger she wrote really exposed the absolute horror of being stood up and finding your date in bed with the reaper of souls himself. I think the worst part of the apology was how he kept saying "that isn't who I am" but proceeded to fall asleep once again at the end. Also I'm fairly certain he was still on the toilet. I heard a few weird noises. I really hope this psycho gets banned. p.s. I'm starting to think the 'jerma speared and killed a man' conspiracy theory may have had been real.
March 2022
Jerma985

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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