twitchquotes:
Raise your hand to see if you are retarded or not ⎝ 
Raise your hand to see if you are retarded or not ⎝
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store
twitchquotes:
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best
twitchquotes:
The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
Donald of the House Trump
twitchquotes:
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I 
sentence you to exile.
In the name of Donald of the House Trump , First of his name, rightful President of the States. Lord of the 2 political parties, Protector of the Border. I sentence you to exile.
twitch chat
Smash bros in the year 20XX
twitchquotes:
The year is 20XX. Every official stream online has zero views because grassroots organizations have usurped all Esports streams. Nintendo is destitute and broke, their only source of income is through taxing sold copies of Melee, CRTs, and gamecubes. Society has evolved to the point that with a cybernetic implant, you can connect directly to netplay and shine on your opponent while broadcasting free of a DMCA complaint and a C&D letter from Nintendo. Doug Bowser is the last living human without an implant, and is found cold and naked, wondering why everyone is constantly talking about wavedashes.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Reynad is like a pigeon
twitchquotes:
Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
Reynad