[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
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ZOOMIN , IN THE FOreign. GOt thE enGINE ROARIN

twitchquotes: Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“GOt thE enGINE ROARIN ๐Ÿš— โ›ฝ๏ธZ OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“GOt thE enGINE ROARIN ๐Ÿš— โ›ฝ๏ธZ OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“GOt thE enGINE ROARIN ๐Ÿš— โ›ฝ๏ธZ OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“GOt thE enGINE ROARIN ๐Ÿš— โ›ฝ๏ธZ OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“GOt thE enGINE ROARIN ๐Ÿš— โ›ฝ๏ธZ OO MIN , IN THE FOreign โ›ฝ๏ธ๐Ÿš“
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July 2017

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

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