[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
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The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2088, Kripp lays tattered on his deathbed, his organs absolutely ravaged from years of veganism. He turns to his computer monitor for one last look at his beloved twitch chat only to see a bunch of weebs, emote spam and copy pasta. Tears fill his lifeless, vegan eyes. Rania is at his side as he draws on all his power to take his last breath and say the only enlightening words that come to mind.. "K"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ .β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Megaman's head

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014
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