[Copypasta] Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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TIFU: By slapping my wifeโ€™s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wifeโ€™s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with โ€œyes daddy, spank me harder!โ€ (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with โ€œwhatโ€™s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?โ€ I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donโ€™t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wifeโ€™s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donโ€™t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022

WTF IS MEGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the LUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could LUL at the 4Head fags but now MEGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen

I want to fuck Spongebob

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

Pinkie Pie

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
November 2014

To protect the chat from devastation... Team Rocket and Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: แด›แด แด˜ส€แดแด›แด‡แด„แด› แด›สœแด‡ แด„สœแด€แด› า“ส€แดแด แด…แด‡แด แด€sแด›แด€แด›ษชแดษด. แด›แด แดœษดษชแด›แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ sแด˜แด€แดแดแด‡ส€s แดกษชแด›สœษชษด แดแดœส€ ษดแด€แด›ษชแดษด. แด›แด แด…แด‡ษดแดแดœษดแด„แด‡ แด›สœแด‡ แด‡แด ษชสŸ แดา“ Tส€แดœแดแด˜ แด€ษดแด… แดแดแด…s. แด›แด แด‡xแด›แด‡ษดแด… แดแดœส€ sแด˜แด€แด แด›แด แด›สœแด‡ sแด›แด€ส€s แด€ส™แดแด แด‡. แด„แดแด˜ส! แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡! แด„สœแด€แด› sแด˜แด€แด ส™สŸแด€sแด› แดา“า“ แด€แด› แด›สœแด‡ sแด˜แด‡แด‡แด… แดา“ สŸษชษขสœแด›! sแดœส€ส€แด‡ษดแด…แด‡ส€ แดแดแด…s แดส€ แด˜ส€แด‡แด˜แด€ส€แด‡ แด›แด า“ษชษขสœแด›! Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœแด€แด›s ส€ษชษขสœแด›!
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing