Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox.
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
His name was Norman Reedus
I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
Boobs 2
When Kripp plays Reno warrior...
twitchquotes:
Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Elder God Heavy [TF2 CHEATER]
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣀⣀⣀⡠⠬⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢻⣉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡟⠁⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣀⣀⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⢣⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡇⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢅⡒⠃⠀⠓⠒⡲⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡸⠀⠎⠀⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢳⢸⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡱⠀⠀⠐⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⢠⠇⡜⠀⢰⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠷⠊⠉⠲⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡌⡸⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⢠⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⡰⠖⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⠈⠀⠀⠙⠉⣿⠛⢻⠂⠒⣶⠒⠉⣭⣍⠉⠒⠀⠀⠉⠉⢱⠤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⠹⡿⣿⠽⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⠆⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣻⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠘⣇⠀⣀⣸⠀⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠹⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣛⣿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⢀⠴⠊⣩⢻⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢱⡝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠋⡍⠀⢸⣀⠤⠔⠒⠊⡏⡠⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠈⡏⢢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡠⠷⠾⠥⠤⠤⡄⠀⡜⠀⡇⢠⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⡇⠀⡇⡇⠀⠀⠀⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⢀⠤⠒⢁⡠⠊⠘⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠔⠒⠒⢛⠄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠕⠊⠁⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢠⠋⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⣠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠤⡴⠞⠋⣀⠤⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿
⠾⠤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⢉⡤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⢡⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠮⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡠⠊⠈⠉⠉⠉⠑⡲⠓⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⡡⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣀⣎⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠉⠐⡆⠀⢀⢜⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠢⠤⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡠⡞⠁⢠⢊⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠒⠤⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠜⠀⡰⡡⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢀⠖⢲⠢⠤⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤
⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⠀⡰⠃⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠐⠒⠢⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜
⣴⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢰⠁⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠒⠒⢲⠀⢀⠎⠀
⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⡰⢻⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⢠⠋⢠⠊
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢀⠞⠀⢦⡀⠑⠤⣀⡀⠀⠸⢅⡀⠈⠑⠒⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⡠⠃⢠⠃⠀