[Copypasta] Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

The Cocklock Deck

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, its the "cocklock" you just beat. I'm on the phone with my mom right now, and she isn't very happy with you. She is coming over now to comfort me, and then we are going to have to report you to the police. I hope you enjoy jail.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

We Live In A Society

We Live In A Society in which us Gamers are ridiculed, mocked, shunned, bullied and ridiculed for simply choosing to undertake a hobby which requires critical thinking, lightning-fast reflexes and JUST AN OUNCE (in case you can’t tell, that is an understatement) more brainpower than what is required your typical ball game. However, females, in their backwards and downright unreasonable thinking, see us as bottom-dwelling, subhuman freaks and would rather settle for the bottom line of evolution, aka jocks (or “Chad”). In order for Our Society to progress, this mindset must be completely eradicated and us Gamers, with our genetic high intelligence, impeccable combat knowledge and indescribable reasoning skills, must be allowed to impregnate females of our choosing with our seed. If this current course continues, humanity as a whole will be plagued with low-IQ specimens and unsatisfactory evolutionary progress. Do you think that extraterrestrial, intellectuals beings will look upon us as a species, no, as a SOCIETY, to be communed with, to be seen as EQUALS, if our highest evolutionary success is measured by how far you can throw a ball? Don’t make me laugh, sir. Aside from your basic genetic and evolutionary advantages to be gained by having females (of our choosing) breed with us Gamers, we can also assure that they will be treated like the Goddesses that we see them as. No more will they be spending countless nights being physically abused and emotionally destroyed by your Common Chad. They will be shown courteous treatment of the highest quality by a true Gentlemen. Instead of Chad taking Stacy out to a restaurant, only to leave her the bill and abandon her that very same night to coitally engage with Veronica, they will be subjected to sublime culinary delights, tender strips selected from the finest breed of Poultry your normie brain could not even begin to comprehend, personelly delivered to my safe haven beneath my mother’s residence, paid for in currency I am earned by doing simple, gentlemenly duties for my beloved Matriarch. And she will euphorically enjoy her meal as I give her the foot massage she had craved for so long, a simple pleasure denied by the very selfish and obsolete mind of Chad. So you see, the next time you seek to inquire if our movement is mere “satire”, You may wish to simply stop. Just stop, and instead of mocking us Gamers, perhaps try, as futile as it may be, to engage in intelligent discussion to the level of our satisfaction. Because you see, their time is coming. The age of the Chad is over. The age of the Gamers is upon us. Gamers Rise Up.
March 2021

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her. The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife. When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18. We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything. When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner. We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her. It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet. Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love. But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite. I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me. I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it. We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
May 2022

xqcWar (emote)

⣿⣿⡿⠛⣉⣭⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣭⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⣩⡖⢿⣿⡟⢿⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⠉⣶⡙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡇⢸⣦⠀⠠⣾⣷⡞⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⡻⣿⣿ ⣆⠻⡷⢾⣷⣦⣴⣬⣿⣤⣤⡴⠛⠛⠻⣿⣼⣿⢇⡞⠟⠻⢿⠏⠹⠃⠛⣿⣆⢹ ⣿⠗⣨⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣁⣨⡿⠀⠐⢿⡂⢈⡁⣈⣿⡿⢰ ⣁⣈⣥⣴⣶⣦⣤⣭⣉⣉⠩⣭⣭⣴⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣷⣿⣾⣷⣾⣷⣿⠟⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠷⣌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣶⣦⣤⣬ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⣶⠶⢶⠰⢶⡆⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⢀⡿⠀⣼⠁⠈⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉ ⢋⣉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⠶⠖⠒⠂⠀⠐⠂⠲⣶ ⢠⣶⢀⢸⣿⣦⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠒⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⢠⠤⠶⠀⣰⣶⣶⣸ ⣼⣿⡆⠘⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⢰⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⢙⣿⢯
June 2021
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing