[Copypasta] Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
I used to be a real ad
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All becoming better than Kripp

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ, Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｓｈｏｗ ｈｉｍ ｍｙ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ. Ｉ Ｃｒｉｔｉｃｉｚｅ ｈｉｓ ｇａｍｉｎｇ ａｂｉｌｉｔｉｅｓ ａｎｄ ｃａｌｌ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｎｏｏｂ. ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｔｈａｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

United Chat of Kripperica

twitchquotes: Wᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ɪɴ Oʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ sᴘᴀᴍ, ɪɴsᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ, ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ OJ, ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴇssɪɴɢs ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴠɪᴏʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴅᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ ᴛʜɪs Kʀɪᴘᴘsᴛɪᴛᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ Uɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪᴄᴀ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Kappa is no longer working

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ATTENTION ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime Someone has reported that the kappa emote is no longer working. Please type "Ka ppa" (no spaces) to confirm that it is indeed still working. Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy andpasted itto word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
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