[Copypasta] Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

This is so small to read even for you bro

twitchquotes: α΅€Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ αΆ¦Λ’ Λ’α΅’ ˒ᡐᡃ᢫᢫ α΅—α΅’ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆ ᡉᡛᡉᢰ αΆ α΅’Κ³ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡇʳᡒ⋅ α΄°α΅’αΆ°α΅— α΅—Κ³ΚΈ α΅—α΅’ αΆœα΅’αΆ°α΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅˜α΅‰ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅‡α΅‰αΆœα΅ƒα΅˜Λ’α΅‰ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡉʸᡉ˒ Κ·αΆ¦αΆ«αΆ« ˒ᡗᡃʳᡗ α΅—α΅’ Κ°α΅˜Κ³α΅— Λ’α΅’α΅’αΆ° αΆ¦αΆ  ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— Λ’α΅—α΅’α΅–β‹… α΅‚Κ°ΚΈ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ˒ᡗᡒᡖ﹖⋅⋅⋅⋅ᡍᡒ ᡃʷᡃʸ ᡇʳᡒ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆ ᡗʰᡉ ᢰᡉˣᡗ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈα΅–α΅ƒΛ’α΅—α΅ƒβ‹… Λ’α΅—α΅’α΅– Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅ƒαΆ«Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆΚΈοΉ— α΄΅ ˒ᡉᡉ ᡗʰᡃᡗ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— ʷᡃᢰᢰᡃ ᡍᢦᡛᡉ α΅˜α΅– Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅οΉ–β‹…β‹…β‹…Κ·α΅‰αΆ«αΆ« ᡒᡏ, ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ Κ·α΅’αΆ° α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ᡗᢦᡐᡉ, α΅‡α΅˜α΅— ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ Λ’Κ°α΅’α΅˜αΆ«α΅ˆ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈα΅–α΅ƒΛ’α΅—α΅‰ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ᡗʰᡃᢰᡏ ᡐᡉ αΆ α΅’Κ³ ʷᡃ˒ᡗᢦᢰᡍ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡗᢦᡐᡉ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ˒ᡗʳᡉ˒˒ᢦᢰᡍ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡉʸᡉ˒ α΅—Κ°α΅’
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There's more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.
March 2021

Lapras

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing