[Copypasta] Raid Shadow Legends changed my life

twitchquotes: i used to play fortnite all nite. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two week ago i spend all my money becoming a raid shadow legend. now i live in a dumpster outside a mcdonalds with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!
twitch chat
January 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020

If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY 👋😩 there comrade 💦💪cummy! the 👹 supreme 🍆 cock🏛 has 🗳voted to strike 👩‍⚖️⌛️down the 🌈 sexy 🤧🤰🏻roe v. wade decision 😏according 🤤🦶🏻to a opinion 🖊written✍️💸 by daddy 💅🏻🙈 sammy 👶🏻🙅🏻‍♂️ aLITo. 🐷💨 the opinion is a 💦🍌 FULL THROATED 📲❤️‍🔥GIRTHY 🍆 contraDICKtion 🚫🍑 of the 1973 👿👎decision that 💁🏻‍♀️👌 guaranteed federal 😤 cocks-titutuinal 😳 protection 👅💄of abortion rights!!! ❤️‍🔥🫡everyone who 🏳️‍🌈💦 woke remember 🙋✊🏻🤔 to fund 💸🥵 planned parenthood and 🌪👼 donate to 🧑🏼‍🍼🤑abortion funds! get yo 📸uturuses 💋👠turnt you 💃whore! 🌭every whore knows 🧠🍼that everyone 🔜should have 👩‍⚕️🏥access to safe 🙏 🌎abortions ❤️😘 if they choose 💅🏻👀 to have one. 👑👹send to ten 😬🙏of your closest 🚱🅾️WHORES to secure abortion 📫🤝rights in ameriCUM 🤤🇺🇸if you get five ✋ back abortion 😘💋rights will be codified 👩‍⚖️🤤in law 📸👠
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Tyler1 is the epitome of optimized-intellect

twitchquotes: Tyler1 is the epitome of optimized-intellect, whom of which specializes in quantum-physics and mathematics, as well as the profoundly skill-consuming game, League of Legends. The motives that Tyler1 possesses stem from his humble beginnings of a hard-stuck D5 Draven main, eventually however climbing the ranks to challenger. Though this quest was not easy, Tyler1 discovered rudimentary theorems and postulates found in today’s mathematical studies.. BigBrother
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing