[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
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Elundus Core

twitchquotes: The Elundus Core was a 6.2-kilogram (14 lb) subcritical mass of a previously undiscovered isotope of plutonium measuring 89 millimeters and was previously held in Felix "xQc" Lengyel's basement. It now lives in the depths of yellowstone waiting to explode
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

KekHands

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣄⡀⣀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⡛⠿⡇⢚⣽⣿⣟⡻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⣾⣸⣿⣿⣒⡹⠟⢛⣉⠐⢖⢃⣵⡖⠂⠒⠲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡐⣫⣿⣿⣷⡿⣠⡻⢿⣾⣯⣶⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⡿⢃⠛⣲⢉⣩⣭⠬⠭⠭⠥⠬⠭⠽⠜⠆⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⠄⡇⣴⣰⢰⡇⣿⠘⣧⢹⡆⠇⠃⢸⣸⡇⠄⠄⠄⡜⣷⡰⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣀⣇⡉⡍⡄⣶⢰⡆⢰⢰⡆⣄⡄⡴⣿⠇⢰⣦⠄⣿⣸⣧⡿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⣻⣿⣟⣃⡛⣘⢃⢻⢘⢃⣌⣼⣿⠃⠄⡀⣿⣷⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⣔⡺⠯⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⣿⣿⡻⣔⢷⣯⣿⣘⣿⢘⡌⣿⠏⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣙⣛⣒⣒⣒⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⡧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣷⡈⠻⣿⡟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

Roblox has taken over my sons life

Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job
March 2021

Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the LoL Worlds Championship, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport no wins Any %
October 2021

EU vs NA

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