[Copypasta] My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. ๐Ÿ’ฆ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022

EHE TE NANDAYO

twitchquotes: EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunOko EHE TE NANDAYO PunO
twitch chat
October 2020

Weebs

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

could you please take post down (Twitter)

Excuse me, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
April 2021

Roleplay as a tournament organizer

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Hi Amaz, could you roleplay as a tournament organizer, but then get caught re-seeding your friends and pretend that your tournament is legit? Thanks (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
March 2015
Amaz

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing