[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

ARTOSIS, ATTEND ME!

twitchquotes: ( ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ARTOSIS, ATTEND ME! (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง ◉◡◔)ง READY, SIR (ง ◉◡◔)ง
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

By the order of Donald of the house Trump

twitchquotes: SMOrc By the order of Donald of the house Trump SMOrc First of his name SMOrc True heir of these United States SMOrc Builder of Walls, Protector of the Border SMOrc I deport you from this chat
twitch chat
October 2016

Gen G logo

⠄⠄⠄⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⡶⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣭⣍⠄⣿⣟⣛⣛⡂⢰⣶⣄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠰⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⠄⣿⣏⣉⣉⡁⢸⣿⠙⠿⣿⢠⣤⠄⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠘⠃⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⠄⠄⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing