[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs

twitchquotes: We here at NL_KRIPP welcome all TRUMP subs. This is a safe place for you all to congregate. You will not be harmed. You are all stellar examples of humanity and we want you here. Type trumpW, let your inner donger soar.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

It was a real life gamer girl

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “fuck, Fuck!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?
August 2021

Simps

Classic

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriend’s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money — paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the series’ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'

twitchquotes: My favorite streamer is the Kripparrian. I often find my self watching his old vods just to stare and look at his 'salty boy' body. Any BM plays he performed really showcased his pristine hearthstone skill. Sometimes i pause the stream and masterbait numerous times. The reveal of his diablo t-shirt never ceases to excite me. Kripp will forever be my 'Salt Shaker'
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

salty

Worry about a tree, miss the entire forest

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ And if you only worry about a tree, you'll miss the entire forest around it ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ノ-Sage Dong
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing