[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019

PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK

twitchquotes: EZ DrinkPurple PLEASE STOP ASKING IF I CAN STACK 3 can: DrinkPurple I can easily stack 3 of these stupid cans, even 4 DrinkPurple And that is absolutely none of your business.I can DrinkPurple stack 4 or 5 whether you ask me or not. EZ 4 ME DrinkPurple.
twitch chat
March 2019

KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018

Beavis

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡤⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣭⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠩⢿⠯⣓⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠄⣰⡒⠶⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣭⣤⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣀⡉⠁⠤⠄⠒⠛⠛⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡀⢲⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⡿⠋⠉⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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