[Copypasta] My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son ๐Ÿ™‡was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. ๐Ÿ’ฆ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Monke

โ „โ „โ „โฃ โขดโขดโกดโฃคโขคโฃ„โ „โ „โข€โ „โฃ€โกคโฃดโฃบโกฝโฃฏโกทโฃฆโฃ„โ „โ „โ „ โ „โฃ”โขžโขโขโ ฝโกฝโฃฝโฃณโขฟโกฝโฃโฃ—โข—โขฏโขฏโฃ—โกฏโกฟโฃฝโขฝโฃทโฃŸโฃทโฃ„ โ „ โ „โก—โกŸโกผโฃธโฃโข‹โ Žโ ŽโขฏโขฏโกงโกซโฃŽโกฝโกนโ Šโขโ ™โ œโ ฝโฃณโขฏโฃฟโฃณ โ „ โ „โข•โ •โ โฃโขฌโขฌโฃŒโ †โ …โขฏโกปโฃœโขทโ โ Œโกผโ ฒโ บโขฎโก†โก‰โขนโฃบโฃฝ โ „ โ „โ „โก€โขโ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ณโ โก‚โขŸโฃžโกโ „โกนโ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโฃบโกโฃžโฃพ โ „ โ „โขฐโกณโกนโขฆโฃ€โฃ โก โ คโ „โกโขโฃพโฃณโฃโฃŒโ ณโ ฆโ คโ คโฃžโขผโขฝโฃปโกท โ „ โ „โขธโฃšโข†โข„โฃˆโ จโขŠโขโขŒโ žโฃžโฃžโก—โกŸโกพโฃโขฆโฃณโกณโฃฏโขฟโฃปโฃฝโฃŸ โ „ โ „โ ˜โกขโกซโข’โ ’โฃ˜โ ฐโฃจโขดโฃธโฃบโฃณโขฅโขทโฃณโฃฝโฃณโขฎโขโขฝโกฏโฃฟโฃบโกฝ โ „ โ „โ „โ โ ชโ คโข‘โข„โขฝโก™โขฝโฃบโขพโขฝโขฏโกŸโกฝโฃพโฃŽโกฟโฃฎโกณโฃนโฃณโฃ—โ ‡ โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ โ „โกธโกกโ ‘โ คโฃ โก‘โ ™โ โกฉโกดโฃฝโก—โฃ—โฃŸโฃทโฃซโขณโข•โก โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โขˆโก‡โก‡โก†โกŒโก€โก‰โ ซโกฏโขฏโกซโกทโฃฝโฃบโฃ—โฃŸโกพโกผโกบ โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โกฎโกŽโกŽโกŽโฃžโขฒโกนโกตโก•โฃ‡โกฟโฃฝโฃณโฃŸโฃพโฃณโกฏโ ‰ โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฏโกฃโกฃโกฃโกฃโกฃโฃ—โกฝโฃฝโฃณโขฏโขทโฃณโฃปโฃบโฃ—โก‡ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ฐโก™โ บโขชโขชโกบโกตโฃฏโฃ—โกฏโกฟโฃฝโขฝโขพโฃณโ  โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ โ ขโ „โฃ€โฃ€โข‰โ ŠโฃŠโฃ‰โกฌโกถโกปโฃโกž โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ™โข™โข‘โขนโฃ˜โ ฎโ ›โ ˆ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‚โ โ ‘โ โ „โ „ monke
ascii art
April 2021

Vaporeon but uwu

April 2022

Pokemon

valorant is a child game

twitchquotes: valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism
twitch chat
December 2020

Valorant

CSGO

Plankton

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโ€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโ€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโ€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
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