[Copypasta] My son πŸ™‡was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son πŸ™‡was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. πŸ’¦ Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ'ΜΏ'\Μ΅Ν‡ΜΏΜΏ\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ'ΜΏ'\Μ΅Ν‡ΜΏΜΏ\
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie

Kripp, this is the value-police

twitchquotes: (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ) Kripp, this is the value-police. We are under the impression that you have 1 too many Priestesses of Elune in your deck, please fix this or come with us.(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Inverted Toucan

dlǝɐsǝ pouΚ‡ qɐuΛ™ Κ‡uxβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘pΗΚŒα΄‰ΙΉΙΉΙβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘sɐΙ₯β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘uɐɔnoΚ‡β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘Ηlβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
June 2019
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