[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
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May 2019
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⠄⠄⠄⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⡶⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣭⣍⠄⣿⣟⣛⣛⡂⢰⣶⣄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠰⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣤⣼⣿⠄⣿⣏⣉⣉⡁⢸⣿⠙⠿⣿⢠⣤⠄⣿⣧⣤⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠘⠃⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⠄⠄⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2021

Hello chat I am famous fascist leader, Adolf Hilterino

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ғᴀsᴄɪsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴏʟғ ʜɪᴛʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ғɪʟᴍ "sɪᴇɢ ʜᴇɪʟ ʟɪғᴇsᴛʏʟᴇ" ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɴʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ.
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March 2014
Kripp

Just hit gold and I feel really dangerous IRL

twitchquotes: Last night I hit Gold rank in League of Legends, Summoner's Rift for the first time. Today, when I went on my walk to my standard retail job, idk I felt like I had this new edge to me that wasn't there before. I went from a triangle to a square pretty much. Have any other LoL overachievers ever felt this way before? It's like my rank is strapped to my waist and now whenever people are at risk of passing me on the sidewalk, they skirt over to the other side in a tizzy. At work, someone tried to shoplift some Almond Joy. When I caught him, I yelled "hey!" And he looked at me and scoffed, like, "whatever dude, don't be a hero." I put a hand on my hip and said "I'm not a hero, I'm a jungler." He dropped the candy bar and ran to his getaway vehicle. I recorded the plate and called the police.
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January 2020

League of Legends

KKomrade

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⢲⣿⡖⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣄⣤⣶⡿⡗⠐⠂⠒⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢛⣩⣾⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣋⣵⣶⣿⡿⠛⠑⢀⣴⣶⣶⡶⠒⠛⠒⠂⠿⠻⠟⠒⠒⠶⣶⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠴⠔⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣰⣶⣀⠀⢰⣶⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣱⣴⣰⡔⡿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢃⣾⡿⢗⣡⣴⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡌⠛⠈⢹⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⢉⣉⣓⣒⣛⡛⠛⠀⣸⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣾⣍⣉⣠⣾⣾⠿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣿⡿⠁⡈⢿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣈⡹⠛⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡁⠀⠃⠈⠻⠿⠿⠫⠟⠟⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020
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