[Copypasta] My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔
January 2021

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Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Bowsette copypasta

twitch chat
October 2018
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