[Copypasta] Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk

Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" is not a chipmunk. This is proven by the name "Alvin and the Chipmunks", as you can see, Alvin is separated from the chipmunks, suggesting that Alvin is an entirely different species, making him an "imposter" amongst the others. Also, in "The Chipettes", Brittney has the strongest resemblance to Alvin, so why is it not called "Brittney and the Chipettes". So all that proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk. Not to mention that Alvin wears red, and I'm not sure about you, but that seems awfully sus to me. In the video game "Among us", the color red is was the birth of the obnoxious catchphrase, "red sus", being that the color red in the game is a stereotype that they are the imposter. While that might be unrelated, keep in mind that Alvin wears red too, and he is also the imposter amongst the other chipmunks. So this proves that Alvin is not a chipmunk, or anything like that. Alvin is just a sussy amogus imposter.
October 2021

Here you go again you simp

twitchquotes: Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
November 2019
Pokimane

Simps

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

as a person who has lots of sex all the time

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay. i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex. i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big. all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women. every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing