[Copypasta] The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019
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Trevor from ChatBotsForTwitch.com

twitchquotes: Hi [insert streamer name], this is Trevor from ChAtBotsForTwitch,com. We kindly request that if you're going to pay the extra to have our employees interact with your chat, you don't make fun of them. We know you have difficulty getting real viewers and it frustrates you, but please don't take it out on my employees. Thank you, Trevor.
twitch chat
March 2021

Classic

LULW pointing at WeirdChamp

twitchquotes: LULW LULW ๐Ÿ‘‡ โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € LULW ๐Ÿ‘‰ WeirdChamp ๐Ÿ‘ˆ LULW โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € โ € ๐Ÿ‘† LULW LULW
twitch chat
September 2019

Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and Iโ€™m fucking retarded but I donโ€™t care, Iโ€™m beautiful. Iโ€™m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 ยฐC. From now on I want you guys to call me โ€œSolโ€ and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you canโ€™t accept me youโ€™re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

You know what's worse than Ajit Pai?

twitchquotes: You know what's worse than Ajit Pai? To access the punchline to this joke, you must purchase the Punchline Package for $14.99
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

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