[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

FeelsBirthdayMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣟⣻⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⣿⣤⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣤⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡶⠛⠛⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣣⣤⣤⣼⣶⣤⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣛⣭⣭⣭⣝⣋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⠽⣒⣒⣒⣺⠝⢛⠭⣍⣛⣻⡯⠤⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⠿⢖⣛⡭⢝⠛⠻⣯⢙⣭⣭⠋⠄⡀⢺⡭ ⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣗⣒⣤⣴⣬⣔⣢⣾⣶⣭⣤⣥⣶⠖⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣥⣄⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣷⣮⣝⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣛⠿⣭⣽⣛⠳⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢗⣚⣛⠛⠄ ⠘⡻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠋⠄⠄ ⣼⣶⣯⣴⣚⠭⠭⣽⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⢏⡉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Four Asians streamed together in harmony...

twitchquotes: (`.´) Trump. (`.´) Amaz. (`.´) MaSsan. (`.´) Hafu. A few months ago the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Forsen's Snus Brotherhood attacked. Only (◉ل͟◉) Reynad, master of the Salt could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most - he was too busy complaining on stream. ( ͠°ل͟ ͠°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Toilet Pepe

⣿⠿⣛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⣭⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⠭⠭⡙⢋⣭⠶⠒⠒⢍⡘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⣯⡴⠚⠉⡡⠤⢄⣉⣅⡤⠄⢀⢺⡌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡏⡆⣿⣿⣉⣐⢴⣿⠈⠈⢀⠟⡿⠷⠄⢠⢎⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡫⣽⣒⣤⠬⠬⠤⠭⠭⢭⣓⣒⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣵⡴⡇⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠠⠄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⡸⣿⣿⣿ ⢇⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣠⣤⣤⣀⡚⠿⢦⣄⡀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣘⠳⣭⢻⣿ ⣎⢿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣙⡳⠟⢗⣈⠻⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣿ ⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣲⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⠇⣤⣤⣤⡶⢰⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡖⣸⣿⡟⣠⣶⣶⡖⣠⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣛⡻⣿⠇⣿⣿⠃⣿⣟⡭⠁⣿⣯⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣭⣙⠗⣸⣿⡇⣾⣮⣙⡛⣸⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing