[Copypasta] Meet the Engineer TF2

twitchquotes: Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.
twitch chat
June 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

There is no need to be angry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, "Truesilver Champion" is a common rarity card! This means that there are many chances during an arena draft to choose it compared to the rare, epic or legendary cards! It is not unreasonable for a Paladin deck to have 1 or more of "Truesilver Champion" so there is no need to be angry!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Qtpie, this is your dad here

twitchquotes: qtpie, this is your dad here. i just wanted to say how proud of you i am son, always hiding in your room playing your video games, talking to your internet friends. your mom and i think that's swell and we just wanted to let you know we love you. pls no copy dadderino
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

A dirty joke from the 1400s...

A dirty joke from the 1400s... In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.” From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini
May 2022

Chibi Link

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣟⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⠽⡝⡎⡏⠭⡪⠪⡒⣽⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⢝⢎⢝⢜⠸⡨⢊⢌⠪⡈⢪⢸⢸⢽⢯⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢟⢵⠹⡘⠔⡡⠑⢠⣕⣬⣖⣮⡾⠯⢟⣆⠣⡫⡹⡱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣵⡥⡊⠄⣗⢶⡛⠖⣶⣿⣟⡗⠞⢿⢯⣗⡇⢅⠣⡱⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠌⡮⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣟⢮⡺⡔⠡⡊⡎⡼⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣵⡹⡙⡇⢟⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣟⣾⣻⣟⣟⣞⡝⡞⡆⡑⡘⡨⢨⡢⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣟⡯⡇⠪⡿⣞⣯⡿⣫⣖⢮⢜⢮⡺⡜⡎⡇⡃⢜⢼⠸⢑⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⣣⣥⠷⣿⣮⡝⢕⠵⡹⡪⡣⡣⡣⡣⢃⢂⠂⢇⢆⣢⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⣵⣕⣛⣽⣕⠿⡷⣧⣈⡢⡁⠅⢁⢂⢂⢢⣿⣔⠅⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡯⢏⣞⣯⣟⣛⢿⢽⢟⡽⣎⢯⢝⡝⡦⡁⢆⠐⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⡸⡪⣓⣛⣛⡝⡿⢿⢝⢞⢎⢇⢵⢹⢌⢢⠑⢌⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢎⡎⡌⠪⢸⡑⡘⡜⠅⡃⡱⠡⡣⡣⡣⢃⠪⡊⢆⠌⠨⣻⣿⡿⠛⢋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⢻⢌⢬⢜⠸⠨⡨⡐⢔⢌⢌⢎⠎⠆⢂⠑⢌⡂⠅⢌⢢⢛⠠⠊⡄⡛⡻⡻⡿⢿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢜⡤⡱⢸⠨⠪⡐⡨⡰⡑⡅⡇⠅⠨⢈⠐⠠⢘⠠⠐⡐⠄⡂⢕⢦⢪⢦⣗⣮⣷⣭⣮⣮⣾⡵⣧⣧⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣪⡣⣝⢭⢊⢆⢇⢇⠇⠡⢐⠨⠐⢌⠊⠅⠅⢌⢻⣄⢕⢰⣶⣾⣼⣵⣷⣽⣺⡯⡿⣷⣿⡯⡺⣚⣮⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣜⢜⢜⡮⠘⠂⠆⠅⢢⣡⠑⠐⠁⡁⠅⠱⢿⣿⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡹⠈⠄⠠⠄⣿⣿⡈⠄⡀⠄⠄⠐⡐⠐⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡊⠄⠡⢈⣄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing