[Copypasta] Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
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Unbench the kench

twitchquotes: UNROLL THE TADPOLE OSFrog UNCLOG THE FROG OSFrog UNLOAD THE TOAD OSFrog UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT OSFrog UNSTICK THE LICK OSFrog UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN OSFrog UNMUTE THE NEWT OSFrog UNBENCH THE KENCH OSFrog PERMIT THE KERMIT OSFrog DEFOG THE POLLIWOG OSFrog
twitch chat
September 2015
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

Troll face

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘
November 2014

Classic

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β €β –β Šβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β ²β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β €β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β ˆβ €β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β‘œβ β €β €β €β €β’§β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⑂⠀⠇⠱⠀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β’‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’„β‘€β’ β£Ÿβ’­β£₯β£€β ½β‘†β €β‘Άβ£Šβ£‰β£²β£€β’€β‘žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β β ‚β ˜β „β£ˆβ£™β‘‘β‘΄β €β €β ™β£„β ™β£›β œβ ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β „β Šβ €β €β €β €β‘Έβ ›β €β €β €β’Έβ †β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ “β ¦β’„β£˜β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β €β €β €β €β£‡β‘€β €β €β£ β Žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ‘Ÿβ ’β ²β£„β €β €β‘°β ‡β –β’„β €β €β‘Ήβ‘‡β’€β Žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘‡β €β €β‘‡β €β €β Ήβ €β‘žβ €β €β’€β €β£β ­β‘€β’±β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£ β žβ €β €β’ β‘‡β €β €β €β €β β €β’΄β ₯β €β ¦β ¦β‘Όβ €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£€β£€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β ‹β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£ β’€β β β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ¬β ₯β£„β €β €β ˆβ ²β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β ¦β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β €β €β’€β£Ώβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β ’β ¦β €β’€β£„β£€β£ β €β’Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣢⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Text-to-Speech Playing